Life:
Meriwether Lewis was born on August 18, 1774 on a Virginia Colony plantation. A skilled outdoorsman, he had a keen interest in botany and natural history. He joined the Virginia militia in 1793, and by 1801 was secretary to President Thomas Jefferson. When Jefferson began to plan an expedition to map the new Louisiana Purchase and beyond, Lewis was chosen. He soon recruited William Clark, and the rest was history.
On their three year journey (1803-1806), known as the Corps of Discovery Expedition, the two faced harsh and often dangerous conditions, but they provided an invaluable account of the geography, flora and fauna, natural resources, and native presence of North America.
Upon their victorious return, Lewis was appointed by Jefferson Governor of Upper Louisiana. His political prowess has been debated by biographers, as well as his potential drug and/or alcohol addiction, but his record spoke for itself. What it was saying wasn’t good. Lewis struggled to integrate back into civilized society, and was prone to “dark moods;” Clark often acted as unofficial governor when he was unable. Lewis may also have been suffering from malaria or syphilis, and at one point went so far as to arrange his will. His governorship grew shakier, and eventually, after being accused of profiting from some of the purchases intended for the 1803 expedition, Lewis was forced to liquidate his assets. In September 1809, in an effort to clear his name (and get his money back), he embarked on a trip to Washington D.C. It would be his last.
Final Trip:
Originally, Lewis planned to travel via ship, but changed his plans (note: I can’t find why), and decided to travel up the Natchez Trace instead. He carried his travel journals with him to be published, most of which were unfinished (much to the disappointment of Jefferson).
The Natchez Trace was not for the faint-hearted. Known as the “Devil’s Backbone,” because of its “remoteness, rough conditions, and frequently encountered highwaymen,” it was a 450 mile path connecting Natchez, Mississippi with Nashville, Tennessee and it could take more than a month. Why travel it at all? Not only was it one of the few trails that could carry wagons, it was also dotted with trading posts and inns. One such inn was Tennessee’s Grinder’s Stand and it was here that Lewis stopped on October 10, 1809.
Death:
Past this point, everything we know comes from Priscilla Grinder, who, with her husband Robert (not present that night), was the proprietor of Grinder’s Stand. According to her, Lewis arrived, dismissed his servants, and, pacing erratically, launched into a “violent” speech full of sell-reproach and hatred. Late that night, Priscilla heard two pistol shots and a man crying “O Lord!” Lewis emerged—horribly injured—crying for water and for Priscilla to “heal” him. Shaken, she refused, and, backing away, left him to bleed out on the wood floor. Incredibly, when he was found by his servants the next morning, Lewis still lived. He begged to be killed, and by sunrise, Meriwether Lewis—only 35—was dead.
Suicide certainly seems the clearest explanation; Lewis was a ruined man, and one prone to depression. His erratic behavior was well-documented by traveling companions on the trail, and he clearly wasn’t doing well in any respect. But there are quite a few issues with this:
Accuracy: The reliability of anyone’s accounts of Lewis’ death is one of the first sticking points; from the start, wildly embellished stories were reported in numerous newspapers claiming that Lewis’ throat was slit or that he bled out on a buffalo robe. Priscilla’s testimony was also never written down, nor was it officially recorded, and as such, three differing accounts exist—each of which she gave to a different person—all varying on several details from whether Lewis shot himself in his room or outside to, more seriously, whether she heard voices in Lewis’ room other than his own. A question I have personally is why none of the servants seem to have heard the gunshots. Grinder’s Stand is destroyed today, so we don’t know how far the stables were from the house, but I can’t imagine they’d be far, and it seems strange that only Priscilla would hear them.
Wounds: For a seasoned soldier and explorer, Lewis sure committed suicide pretty strangely. He was shot once in the head and once in the stomach with his .69 caliber pistol, and his body was slashed (note: I can’t find details about exactly where it was slashed or how much). Lewis was incredibly experienced with weapons, and it seems unlikely that he would either choose to shoot himself like this, or that he would mess up his suicide so badly. The failed head shot likely came first, then the shot to the stomach. But why would he not then shoot for his heart, or towards his brain? This could possibly be attributed to him not being in his right mind, and thus, not in control of his body, but it’s odd. My biggest question though, comes from the slashing. Why and how would he slash himself, apparently after shooting himself twice? And with what?
Autopsy: No official autopsy was performed until 40 years later. In 1848, a group from the Tennessee State Commission (including a former Alabama governor) opened Lewis’ grave and reported that “it seems to be more probable that he died by the hands of an assassin.” As far as I can tell, they did not deign to share why exactly this was more probable. Great work, guys.
Testimony: Even if Priscilla was telling the truth about exactly what she saw, there’s a glaring problem: she didn’t see it happen. In every version of the testimony, she saw him only after she heard the shots fired. So, if no one saw him shoot himself, he could still have been shot by someone else.
Why?: Some have argued that Lewis would be unlikely to commit suicide. He was, allegedly, optimistic about his prospects for getting his money back. With his name cleared and his journals (partially) published, he would be rich again and have a career ahead of him. I would argue that people often appear optimistic before committed suicide, but without having a direct, reliable account of his behavior on the trail/before his death, it’s hard to say. Others have also questioned why, if he was so intent on committing suicide, Lewis begged so much for water and “healing,” rather than, as he eventually did, beg for death.
Theories:
So if, as some believe—including Lewis’ mother, who harshly opposed to suicide theory—Lewis did not die of suicide: who killed him? There are several theories, most of them far-fetched:
Assassins: Very unlikely and very conspiratorial, but some allege that an army general named James Wilkinson orchestrated Lewis’ death. Wilkinson was believed to have worked as an assassin and spy before, and was widely hated; President Roosevelt once called him “in all our history…the most despicable character.” Others referred to him as “the most consummate artist in treason that the nation ever possessed” for his numerous workings with the Spanish. He had been replaced in federal positions by Lewis before, and seemed to bear a grudge against him, also tipping off the Spanish as to the Lewis and Clark Expedition’s route and goals, which they survived only through dumb luck. It has been alleged that Lewis was planning to testify against him after arriving in Washington, something he would never have allowed to happen (“a general who never won a battle or lost a court-martial").
Affair: Another wild theory, but it has been proposed that Lewis and Priscilla were caught sleeping together by her husband Robert, at which point Lewis was killed by Robert. There is no evidence to support this, and I can’t tell where this came from. I’d assume the early 1800s equivalent of the National Enquirer.
Thieves: Natchez Trace, as I’ve mentioned, was not a safe place. The area surrounding Grinder’s Stand in particular was riddled with bandits who would steal goods from unsuspecting travelers. Lewis, traveling with servants and nice equipment, would likely have presented an enticing target. I’ve seen differing accounts on whether his money was missing, but there were no official records of what exactly Lewis was carrying, which makes it difficult to determine whether he could have been robbed. In the dense woods, thieves could have appeared and disappeared quickly, leaving the others in Grinder’s Stand none the wiser. If he was murdered, this seems the most likely theory to most.
Priscilla: Most of the theories come back to Priscilla in the end. How much did she know? Did she simply lie about not knowing anything, or was she directly involved? Her shifting story is suspicious, and some think she might have conspired with Lewis’ potential killers in whichever way the killing occurred; if she did, it’s most likely that she was working with a thief/group of thieves. Even more suspicious to me is the fact that she found Lewis bleeding out and just… left him there? The only explanation I can think of is that she panicked, but it’s hard to believe that she could leave him there, bleeding and begging for help, until sunrise.
Servants: This isn’t exactly a theory, so much as a point of suspicion. One of Lewis’ servants was a freedman named John Pernia (note: I've also seen it spelled Pernier). Lewis had failed to pay Pernia, and owed him over $240. A little over 7 months after Lewis’ death, Pernia committed suicide, possibly becuase he never got the money he was owed. Some attribute this, however, to potential guilt over involvement in Lewis’ death. In one of Priscilla’s accounts, she also alleged that Pernia was wearing the clothes that Lewis arrived in—if he had stayed in the stables all night as he claimed, how would he have gotten to those clothes? He could have killed Lewis in an argument over wages (possibly the voices Priscilla claimed to hear?) or he might have conspired with bandits.
Neelly: Part of the far-fetched assassination theory has to do with the less far-fetched absence of James Neelly, Lewis’ escort and a federal agent; despite traveling with Lewis the entire way, he happened to go looking for “two lost horses'' (neither of which seem to have turned up) the day of Lewis’ death, which some find suspicious, and might lend credence to a coordinated attack—if, as Neelly claimed, Lewis was so ill, why would he abandon him on a dangerous road to do something easily delegated to a servant? The two were traveling with a group of Chickasaw, who also would have immediately rounded up any stray horses. Neelly was the one who identified and buried the body, and was also the one to write to Jefferson to confirm Lewis’ death. There are discrepancies in his story about where exactly he was when Lewis died, and some historians have claimed that, if he was where he said he was, there was absolutely no way he could have gotten to Lewis’ body in the timeframe he gave. Though little is known about Neelly, he was deeply in debt when Lewis died and he was not well-liked; after Lewis’ death, he even took Lewis’ tomahawk, pistols, and dirk. One Commander wrote a year later that “if someone other than Neelly had accompanied Lewis, Lewis would still be alive.” A few months later, he was relieved of his duties for unclear reasons and later imprisoned for indecently exposing himself to Chickasaw women. But if Neelly was responsible, why? Some think he could have been involved in an assassination plot, but others think he was simply negligent, allowing Lewis to die in a robbery (possibly one he was involved in; he had several family members in houses nearby, some of whom were known to be involved with gangs of robbers), after which the suicide story was contrived. More interestingly, it has been alleged that Neelly’s signature in the letter to Jefferson doesn’t match other known—and proven—writing samples of his. If so, who wrote the letter? Whatever the case, Neelly has almost no reliability as the one who controlled the narrative on Lewis’ death. A final note on him: he was the first to whom Priscilla narrated her account.
Final Thoughts & Questions:
Although I’m wary of speculating too much on Lewis’ mental health issues, there have been numerous underlying causes proposed: malaria, late-stage syphilis, PTSD, and depression, among others (interestingly, syphilis and malaria both cause bouts of dementia, which would explain his erratic behavior). And for someone so prone to “dark moods” throughout his life, his family’s refusal to accept suicide as a cause of death seems to me to stem more from a stigma against suicide than any concrete evidence towards foul play. It is also telling that most of Lewis’ friends—Clark and Jefferson among them—accepted the suicide story.
But we might have a chance of learning something more conclusive about this case one day—or, it might be more accurate to say, we would have had a chance of learning more about this case one day. Lewis’ relatives have petitioned numerous times to have his body exhumed and examined, but have each time been rebuffed. An exhumation was finally approved in 2008, but it was rescinded in 2010, with officials adding that this decision was final. Exhumation could tell us everything from the fracture patterns on his skull to whether he was shot at close range to whether he had syphilis or not. Some even claim that, unlikely as it is, the corpse was not Lewis’, as it was never officially identified by family.
Personally, despite the (pretty strong) evidence in favor of suicide, there are just enough oddities to raise questions. We have little direct evidence, no eye-witnesses, and testimony that is unreliable at best. So:

• Did Meriwether Lewis commit suicide? If so, what was the underlying cause and/or the catalyst?
• If he didn't, who killed him and how? Was Priscilla Grinder telling the truth? What did Neelly know?

Sources:
https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/579687/meriwether-lewis-mysterious-death
https://daily.jstor.org/the-mysterious-death-of-meriwether-lewis/
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/meriwether-lewis-mysterious-death-144006713/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meriwether_Lewis
https://historynewsnetwork.org/article/159602 (I don’t know about this, but I’m including it because it’s interesting, if nothing else)
https://www.lewisandclark.org/wpo/pdf/vol38no2.pdf (relevant part starts on pg. 20)

Just yesterday I hit free twitch turbo partner on twitch after roughly 5 months of streaming (somewhat) consistently. Today I'm hoping to share some decent advice and give my own (learned) opinion on some of the frequent yet not always useful tips shared around here.
Before writing this I did a cursory search through the subreddit for frequently asked questions so hopefully this answers most of the ones that I myself have any experience to answer.
My simple request: I'm not going to be posting any links to my stream or anything but if you go out of your way to find it please don't follow/subscribe to the channel unless you are genuinely interested. Thanks big boss.

Should you stream?

If I have to read another thread or comment of a person asking if they should stream I am going to scream. What do you people expect to hear? Yes, please stream the world needs you, you will be rich beyond your wildest dreams and have all the clout to have ever been cloutted.
I know people who usually type out questions like that probably don't read posts but here is a hack I've used to answer my own dumb questions through out the years. Say that shit out loud and respond to it like someone asked you the question. Nine times out of ten, you end up answering it yourself and on the off-chance you actually don't you should have a more actionable question.
Example: Instead of asking "should I stream?" you end up realizing the only thing holding you back is having no mic or something. The question then becomes "I want to stream what's a good cheap mic?". Which is a lot better and doesn't make people want to pelt you with rocks.
For those of you who ask "should I stream or is it a waste of time?" please, I BEG YOU, stop. Most of the shit you do is a waste of time, you either want to stream or don't. Make a decision based on that.

Webcam, do you need one?

This question is asked so often that I see it every time I come on the subreddit. Unsurprisingly, the answer is always the same as well, yes you do.
However I disagree.
I have never streamed with a webcam, not a single time, yet I'm still here and somehow managed to get partnered.
Now, I know why every one parrots the same advice, it is because the people making tip threads, youtube videos, etc., all say to use a webcam. Harris Heller said it once and I'm pretty sure that was enough for the people who copy and paste what he says in text threads here to become their mantra.
The truth is, all that matters is the content. Ask yourself do you do/want to do a lot of react/just chatting content? If so, you probably want a webcam since your content will focus around reacting to content. Lirik doesn't use face-cam because his content is his gameplay and commentary, not his face. Corpse literally blew up and is famous for not showing his face (even though he is still a personality).
I know the whole "Lirik doesn't use a face cam" argument is going to be met with people saying "exception not the rule!!!" but seriously, just use your head. Half the people you watch probably don't need face cams. MoonMoon probably doesn't need a face cam, Critikal didn't have a face cam until he already had over a million subs on youtube, schlatt didn't either, Dream doesn't, AdmiralBahroo doesn't, almost every DBD streamer I watch doesn't, just think for yourself.
The point I'm trying to drive home here is not just that a webcam isn't required, but also you need to look at what you want to create and decide for yourself.
Edit: I saw someone say somewhere that you need a webcam for sponsors. That's cap. I've had a sponsor and nobody has seen this ugly mug.

Equipment in general

People like saying that they need this this and that before they start streaming. This is just stalling. Until last month I hadn't owned a desktop PC my whole life. Before that it was just laptops and using my phone to read chat or look up things. You obviously need SOME equipment to start, i.e. a computer and some form of internet connection, but that doesn't mean you need to pick up a shure, a streamdeck, 4 monitors, 6 consoles, and whatnot.
Here is my setup. Keep in mind I literally just upgraded this last month after saving up for several months:

• Blue Yeti: Hell ya baby got a free game with it too so I'm for sure pleased with this purchase. Edit: I recommend shopping around for mics since the yeti isn't as much of a "get this for streaming" mic as it once was. Plenty of good options out there for cheaper
• Two BenQ monitors: Like I said, I was using my phone for chat but that got old fast. These monitors are cheap and 144hz. There are some color issues but eff it I barely notice anymore
• Streamer PC from NZXT: My old laptop was from 2016 and made editing literal hell. Averaged 3 crashes every time I would try and render (and the renders took about an hour). Upgrading to this was the most worth purchase I've ever made. Also, the streamer PC got upgraded since I purchased, so you can grab a 2070 instead of the 2060 ti like I have :)
• Red Dragon Keyboard and Mouse: I'm a cheap ass so when I see light up peripherals for like 40 bucks total I am sold.
• Earbuds: Legit don't know the brand. I stole them from my sister like a year ago. I prefer these over a headset anyway since I don't want that gamer dent lmao

For those of you who are probably saying "GROSS A PRE-BUILT" remember that part prices are actual aids right now, not to mention the availability of even finding good parts. If you have the cash go pre-built that shit is amazing.
My recommendation:
Stay with your shitty set-up as long as possible but make sure to pick up a good mic first. Big streamers (looking at you Ludwig) shit on the Yeti, but straight facts all you need is to EQ that shit a lil bit and nobody will bat an eye. You don't have to pick up the Yeti (there are lots of cheaper options) but that's just the one I and many others have gotten since it is reliably a good ass mic.
Audio <- chat engagement <- pc upgrade

YouTube

How many people have to tell you bums to focus on YouTube before you do it? Twitch sucks ass. I'll say it, i'm brave. No discoverability, especially to those of you at the very bottom. Make a goddamn YouTube and start pumping out videos, it is not hard.
Ludwig made a power point on how to be a streamer that talks about a few things but the most important point of all was what he said on creating content for stream/YouTube. This isn't the exact timestamp but it do be close: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/896089267?t=01h24m14s
That advice is coming from a top streamer who also has over a million subs on YouTube by almost exclusively taking twitch vods and editing them for YouTube.
As for getting views on your videos here is my advice from my personal experiences:

• Thumbnail and title are important but there are outliers that can thrive without doing shit. One guy I saw has their most watched video (over 250k views) with a title like "[game] [character] gameplay" and the literal default thumbnail that youtube makes. AND to top that off it was just a VOD from their twitch channel.
• Audience retention matters. There is a reason massive YouTubers have these weird zoom in pans and flamboyant gestures all the time. Lots of movement and noises keep our tiny attention spans happy and frequently cutting is usually the key to success, although don't overuse it. I do very light edits and have been growing but that's more of my personal preference rather than a growth strategy.
• Respond and engage. If you have one comment on your video and they are complimenting you, why aren't you responding? This is by far the easiest way to get someone to continue to engage with you and trust me, that is the most important thing in the algorithms eyes.

My understanding of YouTube

So obviously, clickthrough rate and audience retention are the things that are constantly brought up when talking about gaining more views and what not, but I am fairly comfortable in saying that there are other metrics that you should be paying attention to.
Let me hit you with a something that would make Dream shake in his boots. I don't subscribe to anyone on YouTube. *gasp*
The reason for that being, I almost always have the videos I want to see on my home page. I never have to go, "wonder if x YouTuber made a video" since YouTube knows I watch and enjoy their stuff. The question for most people being, how does YouTube know what people like and how does it suggest it to them? Basically, by seeing how often people engage with your content AND also what type of content you create. (although keep in mind, youtube tries to throw new videos at you a lot as well, these are usually in-line with content you engage with though)
For engagement, think of it as like affinity points in a video game but in reverse. Before you get to bang that smoking hot sim, you got to woo them. Every time someone likes your video they get a point, every time they comment they get two, every subscription counts as like 10, watching an entire video might be 20, etc. Obviously, these are made up values but I hope you follow what I'm putting down here. Once they get enough points you start showing up more in their home page.
I know this because I have a different account on my phone that doesn't have the same suggestions as my main account because I watch different things on my PC than my phone. However, I do like to look at the comments while I'm taking a dump or something. Problem was, my videos were rarely every recommended. I solved this easily by liking a couple videos. I didn't even watch them, just liked and read comments. LITERALLY NOT EVEN SUBSCRIBED AND I GET NOTIFICATIONS ON MY PHONE SOMETIMES WHEN A VIDEO DOES WELL!
In other words, by getting people to like and comment on your videos you are almost guaranteeing they see future videos from you.
Now, keep in mind, engagement is only a small portion of the whole pie. And even though you might engage with a content creator often, there is still a chance you miss some of their videos because of one other reason, the content's genre.

Content Genre

You might have noticed this phenomenon on various different creators YouTubes, but sometimes they create a video that bombs. Usually, this happens when they create something outside of their niche. This could be as simple as changing games, or as radical as changing the entire direction of the channel. Even if you engage like crazy with a creator, if they change the content enough, you won't get that shit recommended to you.
This is the main reason some creators have several channels and why some even get pigeonholed to one type of content. The reality of it is, if you build your audience on one piece of content and then want to change it, you will be fighting an uphill battle. One of the best ways to fight that is to diversify early OR better yet, emphasize your personality over the content. Jschlatt shits views and he does whatever the hell he wants really. Same goes for jacksepticeye, markiplier, Ludwig, Critikal, XQC, and numerous other creators.
That being said, doing one game/genre isn't a bad strategy either. A metric fuck ton of OfflineTv's videos are the same game. DisguisedToast played Hearthstone on repeat, then switched to TFT, THEN switched to among us, and his videos absolutely kill. Valkyrae is one of the biggest streamers period and all she does is play/upload among us and rust. Then of course we have all the minecraft streamers too.
It's really up to you to decide, but I'd recommend going towards personality content since that allows the most flexibility.

Other Social Media (Twitter, IG, etc)

Lots of people here seem to think that they don't have time to do YouTube or some other BS they think up as an excuse, so they think that twitter, instagram, tiktok, etc are all ways to grow. Trust me, they are not good ways to grow.
These are all stupid treadmills that trick you into thinking you're doing something when in reality you aren't moving the needle by much if by any at all. Posting ten dumb tweets and reposting memes on IG seem "productive" if you frame it in the light of "content creation" but the two people that see all of these things don't really give a shit. Spend that time working on a video for YouTube.
Don't give me this "I don't have time" bullshit. Do small videos and work yourself up, become better and faster. Perfectionism is a cute word for procrastination.
Ok, now that I took a shit on them so hopefully, you won't grind on them all day, these are still ways to grow and are important. Having multiple platforms for fans to communicate and engage with you is always a good idea, but don't spread yourself so thin early on when nobody knows who you are. Prioritize the thing that will get eighty percent of your results.
I personally have a discord for people to come and chat in. Thing is, I had no intention of doing so because I don't really use discord that much. The only reason it exists is that people kept asking for it in the comments on my YouTube videos so I made one.
TL;DR: Don't put the cart before the horse :)
Edit: Oh ya I forgot to mention. TikTok is trash for growth. I won't mention names cuz that's probably toxic(?) but there is someone signed on luminosity who has 690k TikTok followers and 95k YouTube subscribers who barely cracks 100 views on Twitch and has a hard time getting over 1k on YouTube. So don't go thinking TikTok leads to immense fame ya darn kids

Hosting/Raiding

Getting hosted/raided means actual jack. I remember pretty clearly when I had like ten viewers, I got hosted by someone with twenty-five or something. I think only one person ended up saying anything in the chat to me about it and although some stayed for the entire stream, by the time I went live again I lost all of the people who were in the host. This seems to be something others have mentioned as well, you won't retain almost any views from hosts/raids.
Edit: Please do try raiding/hosting or otherwise networking with other streamers at least once. Your mileage may vary and it could end up blowing up your channel. Who knows?
Edit edit: Having something that you can do during the stream is huge when getting hosted/raided. Most of the time, if not all of the time, a streamer is ENDING their stream and sending viewers to you rather than timing it for your own content. So if you are doing something uninteresting or are in the middle of something you are going to get less retention than if you did something crazy to impress the newcomers. In other words, having a strategy for hosting/raiding growth is key.

Speaking on stream

This seems to be something a lot of people struggle with on Twitch since so many people ask how to do it when nobody is watching/chatting. Coming from someone who had this problem, the answer is pretty simple, talk for the content not the chat.
What I mean by this is you should be focusing on your content more than the chat. Since I play games, what I do is just say some shit about whats happening on screen and sometimes say something that is hopefully funny. Pick up a garbage item? Say something about how garbage the item is, ez.
If you're streaming to NO VIEWERS you shouldn't be streaming to stream anyway. What you should be doing is making a YouTube video in the hopes of getting viewers to watch your stream. The only way to do that is to have good content planned out that should effectively act as your script. Again, Ludwigs stream on this is good (it'll probably be a video soon) so make sure to check it out.
A more recent problem I've had was just how much I engaged with chat (suffering from success I know). When I went to edit the videos I had to cut large swathes of the video because I was just chatting to people. Make sure to avoid this when you are actually trying to get content out for YouTube as it can mess up the flow of a video and make it harder to edit. You still can chat with people just make sure not to go overboard. Again, Ludwig is a perfect example of this, just look at his videos and streams and notice the difference between the two.

Streaming as a job/hobby

I hate this dumb argument of streaming isn't your hobby or twitch isn't your job. You have 24 hours in the day, subtract 8 for sleeping and depending on your job, 9 for work. All that extra time can be spent doing whatever the fuck you want. Want to get big and make money streaming? Do work. Want to just stream while you're playing games anyway? Do that.
IF YOU WANT TO BECOME A PROFESSIONAL AT SOMETHING YOU PUT IN THE AMOUNT OF EFFORT REQUIRED TO DO SO! So stop telling people it has to be a hobby or it has to be a job. It can be either for christ's sake.

Partner difference

I have a checkmark which makes me a better person.
No, but seriously, partner doesn't really do much other than add more emote slots and some quality options. Also, you don't gain extra cash as a partner either. I don't have the mystical bounty board or god-tier split, just the checkmark to flex baby.

Opinion on affiliate

Devin Nash made a video about how affiliate is a scam, which is kinda true but only for people with no viewers. Having the sub button is huge and even when I was small small, affiliate gave me a couple hundred bucks a month for no effort on my part. Patreon is probably better though, no lie.

Twitch "grind"

If you stream 5+ hours a day without making content that lives somewhere else please form a neat line so I can smack you all. People saying they have no time drives me nuts, but when they also "grind" all day AND say that, it makes me want to punch air.

1. Stream YouTube friendly content
2. Stop stream and edit content
3. Upload and plug twitch in the video
4. repeat

That is the only "grind" you should be on. Affiliate is stupid if the 3 viewers you have are all just you on a different ipad.

Luck

You know what? Maybe PewDiePie got lucky and that's how he is such a big YouTuber. Maybe early twitch streamers got all their views because they were early adopters. Or maybe these people only got lucky because they showed up and actually put the effort in.
There are plenty of videos on my channel that looked like flops at first. They got like a couple of hundred views and didn't do well. However, after continuously publishing, a whole bunch of them ended up blowing up and becoming some of the most-watched. Without publishing more videos they would have ended up dead in the water. Consistency > luck.
I don't believe too much in luck when it comes to doing very simple things (LIKE MAKING A YOUTUBE VIDEO) but you literally cannot win the lottery if you do not purchase a ticket, it's that simple.

Editing Software

A couple of people asked this so I thought I should add it here. I use davinci resolve for my videos. Previously, I used hitfilm or something like that I can't quite remember the name, but I had to switch because they don't allow you to have split audio channels (i.e. one for desktop audio and one for mic audio).
I've literally never touched any paid software like premier or anything because, again, I'm a cheap ass.

What should you upload to YouTube?

Seriously just look at Ludwig, smallant, DisguisedToast, literally every top Twitch streamer with a YouTube. All three of the people I just mentioned are over one million subs on YT and are top streamers, so they are definitely doing something right.
In terms of off-stream content, guides are king. If you're a small YT channel with ZERO subs you can still get thousands of views by hitting the search algorithm of YT. My first 3 videos were uncut gameplay, guide video, guide video, in that order. Guess which ones have tens of thousands of views and which has less than a thousand? Guide videos are insane for small channels.
Edit: Actually, let's just call it searchable content. Searchable content is king

Ending notes

I think that's about it for this post. Hopefully, I covered everything although I doubt I did. If you have any questions I'll try my best to answer them and will probably edit the good ones into the post.

Hello everyone, for the last few months I have been creating long form write-ups on a variety of unsolved cases. If you are interested in other lengthy write ups you can find them on my profile- https://www.reddit.com/useQuirky-Moto.
Also, huge shout out to everyone who voted for the earlier parts of this series in the Best of 2020 series contest. I am honored that so many of you remembered the post and took time to read it. Those posts can be found here.
Background
Serial killer Gary Ridgway confessed to 71 murders, but was only charged with 49. Of those 49, 3 victims are still Jane Does. Official victim counts place known victims at 52-55 women. The other 15 or so women are still unknown; their bodies undiscovered. But Ridgway and investigators place Ridgway’s body count realistically at 80-100 victims. Who are these people?
Most of Ridgway's victims were killed in between 1982 and 1984 in the worst killing spree that the country had ever seen, with the murderer killing women and girls sometimes more than once a week. Ridgway continued murdering until at least 1998, but police believe he committed crimes until 2001 when he was arrested. Ridgeway claims that he started his killing spree in early 1982. He says does not remember killing anyone in the 1970s but admits that it is possible.
Ridgway has only been charged with homicides if he both confessed and there was one or more pieces of evidence against him. For example, if he led investigators to a body he was charged with that murder and all the murders of the women he left in the same cluster. He has also been charged with other cases if there was circumstantial evidence, fiber evidence, paint chip evidence, or DNA. He has not been charged with the murders of women still missing or women whose cases cannot be linked to him in a corroborating way, which is why the confession list is so much longer than the charged list. Also please remember that mass murders are not known for their honesty and we have to take confessions with a grain of salt.
For months I have been collecting reports of missing women from Washington and Oregon who could be victims of Ridgway. Some of this information was compiled and posted in my earlier write ups on Ridgway, but my research has slowly been growing. Today, I want to profile Ridgway’s unknown Jane Doe victims, women he has confessed to killing but who are still missing, victims the police believe fell victim to Ridgway but who were living Jane Does, and others who could be the 15-40 victims for whom no justice has been served.
Terms used
The scene- A term used by Bundy and LE to describe the people with high risk lifestyles those who are homeless, sex workers, exotic dancers, drug users, hitchhikers, and others who are down and out
The Strip- An area of Pacific Highway South near the airport in extreme south Seattle known for the scene. Most GRK victims were last seen in this area.
Aurora Avenue- An area of extreme north Seattle along Aurora Avenue North known for the scene. A handful of women disappeared from this area.
Rainier Avenue and Central District- Neighborhoods in south Seattle near the strip. Usually regarded as cheaper places to live. A handful of women disappeared from here.
Dating- A term used in literature to refer to soliciting prostitutes. Ridgway used this term as did many sex workers. I use this term below as that is what is described in GRK literature. I don’t use it to dull what was happening in these exchanges.
NOTE- Just like in my other posts, I want this section to tell the women’s stories in a respectful way, but I was also wanted this section to be authentic and I don’t want to sugar coat any of these stories. For many of the victims there is very, very little information available. I think this is why sometimes victims appearances are mentioned as it sounds better to say “At age 21, she was a tall woman with thick red hair and a great smile” rather than she died at 21. Additionally, some of these victims’ stories are not very pleasant and a in a few cases information from family and friends is unflattering or downright negative. Rather than skip these women or pretend these things did not occur I chose to include them in the summaries below. I added as many positives as I could and tried (key word tried) to shy away from information solely about their appearances or criminal records but sometimes no other information is available. I hope everyone can understand that my intention is to remember these women and their lives in the best possible way while realizing that not everything is positive. I ask you for only respect down in the comments. Thank you.
Unidentified
Jane Doe B-10 was a murder victim who was found in 1984, near the remains of known victim, Cheryl Wims. She was a white female between the ages of 12 and 19. She most likely died in the summer of 1983. She may have had brown hair and was around 5’5’ and 120 lbs. She was likely left-handed. She had a healed injury to the front of the left side of her skull. She is not Rose Cole, Janel Peterson, Susan Cappel, Lisa Dickinson, Wendy Huggy, Kase Lee, Keli McGinnis, Anna Anderson, Kristi Vorak, Amy Matthews, Teresa Hammon, Cheryl Wyant, Denise Dorfman, Carol Edwards, Linda Jackson, Angela Meeker, Andria Bailey, Dean Peters, Joan Hall, Patricia LeBlanc, MaryJo Long, or Kerry Johnson.
Jane Doe B-17’s bones were found twice. Some bones were found in 1984 and some more were found in 1986. She was most likely a white female, aged 14-19, around 5’4”- 5’8” and average weight, around 120-140 lbs. She most likely died in 1983. Ridgway said she died in Spring or Summer 1983. Isotope testing shows she is possibly from the Northern United states (Alaska, Montana, Idaho, North Dakota) or Canada. She is not Rose Cole, Janel Peterson, Susan Cappel, Lisa Dickinson, Wendy Huggy, Kase Lee, Keli McGinnis, Anna Anderson, Kristi Vorak, Linda Jackson, Andria Bailey, Joan Hall, Patricia LeBlanc, MaryJo Long, Carol Donn, Barbara Cotton, Pollyanne Carter or Kerry Johnson. Green River task force believes that these remains belong to Diana Munyon who disappeared from Mississippi in the early 1980s.
Jane Doe B- 20 was a murder victim who was discovered in 2003 after Ridgway led investigators to her body. Her skull was not recovered so no composite can be made and no race can be determined. She died in between 1973-1993 but most likely died in the late 1970s. She was likely 13-24 years old. Ridgway says she was a white woman about 20 years old with brown or blonde shoulder length hair who he killed in Summer ’82 or ’83. He does not remember killing anyone in the 1970s but admits it is possible. Jane Doe B-20 is not Keli McGinnis, Andria Bailey, Cora McGuirk, Linda M. Adams, Misty Copsey, or Deborah Tomlinson.
Links
The following 3 women have been linked to Ridgway almost conclusively but are technically still missing. Ridgway has confessed to the following three women’s cases but without corroborating evidence or bodies he has not been charged.
Kase Anne Lee was a petite, red-headed 16-year-old who lived in the same building as confirmed Green River victim, Terry Milligan. She was originally from Spokane and worked a few hours weekly at a 1 hour photo shop. She worked the streets near the airport. Her husband, Anthony “Pretty Tony” Lee, was even briefly looked at as the killer due to his background of violence and pimping out women. Kase left one evening at 11:30 pm to buy groceries and vanished into the night. For years, the only available photos of Kase (pronounced like Casey) were her mugshots, although it seems as if a non mugshot photo of her is now available. Her body has never been found.
Patricia Osborn left her home on Aurora Avenue in extreme north Seattle to meet a date in October 1983. Earlier she had been heard arranging the date on the phone. Patricia’s family lived in Oregon. She had three arrests all in 1983 that they had no idea about. When she didn’t call home during the holidays, she was reported missing by her family. By that time, she had not been seen by anyone in over three months.
Keli Kay McGinnis had a life one could call peculiar. She was born to a young mother who worked as a musician and the pair lived in apartments in the Seattle area. When Keli was a few years old her mother married a millionaire businessman, and the three lived in a two-million-dollar mansion on Queen Anne Hill. Keli and her parents owned horses, yachts, and nice cars. They took lavish trips and Keli loved her father, who was actually her step dad. A few years down the road her mother and step father split and the pair went back to living in apartments with her mom working long hours as a singer. It was a weird life for the now aged eleven-year-old McGinnis. Years later at age 15 Keli fell in love with a boy at school and became pregnant. Keli’s family did not approve of her African American boyfriend so the couple moved in together. Keli and her boyfriend traveled the west coast with Keli working the streets. Keli usually worked with her best friend, later Green River victim, Pammy Advent. Keli’s background gave her an edge in the business and she worked at fancy hotels and attracted wealthier johns. According to some of the women who worked with Keli, McGinnis was able to pull in 2-3x what they did on a typical night. Keli left her home one night in South Seattle to work but never came home. Her boyfriend called the police to report her missing. He was adamant Keli would never abandon their toddler daughter, who was later adopted out to a family when McGinnis never returned home. Her body has never been found, but Ridgway believes he killed her.
The following three women are current or previous Jane Does who were arrested under false names before disappearing in Seattle, and are still not identified today. It is possible some or all of these women are Green River Victims. (this is a very confusing section so please bear with me.)
Linda Louise Jackson was arrested in King County in the early 1980s using the alias Wylynda L. Wells. In 2012, King County authorities tried to contact Wylynda who they learned was actually Linda, to testify in a trial. When her family was tracked down, they reported they had not heard from Linda in “well over 10 years.” As it turns out Jackson has not been seen in King County (or anywhere else) since early 1983 but was never reported missing. If you know her whereabouts or associates please contact King county authorities. She is a native American female with brownish-black hair and brown eyes. A photo is provided below.
Michelle has not been seen in King County since December 1980. She went by the first name Michelle but this may not be her legal name. She also had ties to the New York area. She appears to be African American with light to medium skin tone, shortish brown-black hair and brown eyes. If you know her whereabouts, legal name, or associates please contact King county authorities.
Both women’s photos can be seen here: https://www.kingcounty.gov/depts/sheriff/about-us/enforcement/investigations/green-river.aspx
Angie is a young woman who has possibly been missing since Summer 1983. She is only known as Angie, and she was a friend of victim Tammie Lilies. Angie was from the Marysville area and is described as a white female, 17 to 18 years of age at the time of contact, 5' 4" in height, 110 pounds, with curly shoulder length light brown hair and greenish-blue eyes. She's been described as "very pretty" and "a Barbie doll." She was wearing blue jeans when she was last seen. No photo is available. If you know her whereabouts, legal name, or associates please contact King county authorities. (I have wondered if she is Angie Girdner down below but descriptions don’t match up perfectly and authorities seem to doubt this. She is also possibly Angela Meeker from Tacoma)
More information can be found here: https://www.kingcounty.gov/depts/sheriff/about-us/enforcement/investigations/green-river.aspx
The following women have been linked to Ridgway pretty conclusively and are known to be deceased but he has not been charged with their murders. In fact, he specifically denies killing the following three women.
Amina Agisheff was a 36-year-old immigrant from Russia and a working mother of several children. She left her home and was waiting for the bus when she disappeared going to either visit her mother or coming home from visiting with her mother. She disappeared July 7th 1982. Agisheff’s body was found near North Bend in an area very close to other victims of Ridgway. Agisheff was found clothed or partially clothed, and her cause of death was a possible gunshot wound although this could not be conclusively proven. It is unknown if she was sexually assaulted. For years, Agisheff was considered to be the first Green River Victim due to where she was found even though she had no ties to the “scene” and was not known to use drugs or hitchhike. Ridgway always denies killing Agisheff, but as demonstrated above not all women killed by Ridgeway were part of the scene. However, Amina’s death varies significantly from Ridgway’s typical pattern.
Theories:
It is a coincidence that Amina’s body was found near other victims and she was the victim of another killer.
She differed from the pattern because she was Ridgway’s first victim and his method was substantially different.
She was not Ridgway’s first victim and varied from the typical because Ridgeway’s victims were more varied than initially thought. Some have speculated that Ridgway offered Amina a ride somewhere and she took it because she knew him, however tangentially. This has never been proved.
Tammie Liles was from the Everett/Snohomish area north of Seattle. Tammie’s family last heard from her in 1982 and she was reporting missing in 1983. Friends or family believed that had contact with Tammie in May 1984 when she called and said she was living in Tacoma and was going to get married. The police think it is possible the girl on the phone wasn’t actually Tammie, or that her family was confused on the date of the call. Tammie was removed from the missing persons list only to be reported missing again, this time for good in 1988. At this point, Tammie who was known to work as a sex worker in Seattle was linked to the GRK but her body was not identified until 1998. She was not known to work anywhere in Oregon and it has been suggested she was killed in King county and transported to Oregon after death. (Her body was found in Oregon.) Tammie is listed on some lists as an official or unofficial/ unproven Green River Victim, on some lists as a possible victim while she is left off of other lists entirely.
Angela Girdner went by the name Angie and was a straight A student at a private high school. As a teen, Angela fell in with the wrong crowd and ran away from home. She was reported missing in 1982 and died sometime that year or in early 1983. Her remains were found with Tammie Liles’ remains. Both girls were found close (within a mile) to the bodies of victims Denise Bush and Shirley Sherrill near Portland, Oregon. Police do not believe Angela ever travelled to Washington state making Angela the only victim who may have been both abducted and killed outside of the state of Washington. This may be why Ridgway denies involvement as his plea deal states he is eligible for death penalty if he committed crimes outside of King County. There is a theory that Tammie and Angela were killed by someone else and the placement of their bodies was a coincidence.
The following women are missing or were found dead and may be Green River Victims but are not on the official list.
Rhonda Louise Burse was 21 years old when she was last seen climbing into her car after her shift ended at the Flame Tavern where she worked as a dancer. Flame Tavern is located in Burien, Washington near SeaTac airport. Burse has never been seen again. Strangely, the Flame Tavern is also the last known sighting of another woman, Brenda Ball, who was killed by Ted Bundy only three years earlier. Due to the area and Ridgway’s victimology, some think Rhonda could be an early victim.
Angela Mae Meeker was almost 14 when she disappeared in 1979. She was planning on going to the mall in Tacoma and then going to a birthday party when she vanished. Angela was seen later that evening at a party but never surfaced again. Angela ran away from home regularly and often hitchhiked around the Tacoma area. Angela’s parents believe she met with foul play when someone she hitched a ride with killed her. Angela Meeker is not Jane Doe B-10. Little information is available in the case.
Andria Bailey was 15 or 16 when she went missing sometime in 1978 or 1979. The exact date of her disappearance is unknown. Andria lived with her grandmother in Spanaway, south of Seattle. Andria’s parents were in the military and lived in Germany. Andria was reported missing in 1989 when her mom called the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children saying that Andria had been missing for over 10 years. NCMEC called law enforcement. In 1995, someone (possibly NCMEC) called the Green River task force and gave them Andria’s name to compare to the does in the case. No one knows if Andria was involved in drugs, prostitution, or running away. Her grandmother cannot remember the last time she saw Andria or what she was doing. Apparently after Andria went missing her grandmother called her parents and Andria’s father flew to Washington state to look for her in the local area but she was never officially reported missing. Andria’s mother and grandmother have since passed away. In the one article available about this case, Andria’s relative submitted a DNA sample to match potential does. Little information is available.
Linda M. Adams was only 15 years old when she was last seen in Yakima, Washington in 1978. Linda was a chronic runaway who was last seen walking down a road in June of 1978. She may have been hitchhiking. Linda was not reported missing until 2004 and it was actually the Green River task force who filed her report. Linda’s sister said they had tried to report Linda missing earlier but her status as a chronic runaway made the situation hard. I have submitted Linda as a possible match for all three of Ridgway’s unknown victims. I have since heard that Adams is not Jane Doe B-20.
Louise Sanders was last heard from in February 1981. She called a friend to make lunch plans but then canceled those plans because she was meeting a “date.” She disappeared from downtown Seattle in 1981. Louise was 35 years old at the time but a hormonal disorder made her look like a teenager still. She was involved in prostitution in downtown Seattle at the time. Little information is available in her case.
Diana Munyon ran away from home in Mississippi in 1981. Her family last heard from her in May 1982 when she called from Fontana, California. She was only 16 years old at the time. Her family contacted the Green River Task force years later, both due to her background and because Diana bears a resemblance to one of the Jane Does Ridgway plead guilty to murdering. Her case is being investigated by Seattle authorities. Little information is available.
Kristi Vorak left her foster home in Tacoma, Washington in October 1982 age 13. After leaving home she may have been seen at a bus depot in downtown Seattle. Kristi did not have a history of running away or prostitution but she did frequent areas of Seattle and Tacoma known to be part of the scene. Kristi’s mom thinks it is possible Kristi is a transient in the Seattle area or left to start a new life but law enforcement believes she met with foul play and is a possible Green River victim Little information is available in her case.
Patricia Ann LeBlanc was 15 when she ran away in 1983. Patti had a record for solicitation and in August 1983 was arrested and sent to a youth shelter. Four days later the youth shelter took a field trip to the Seattle Center (a museum where the Space Needle is at) and she ran away and disappeared. Patti’s foster mom said that Patti ran away from whatever living situation she was put in, but Patti still called her foster mom often. Those phone calls stopped in August 1983. Patti may have an unspecified medical condition. Little information is available in her case.
Pollyanne Jean Carter was last seen leaving a friend’s home in Graham, Washington near Tacoma. She had called her parents and said she was headed home, but Pollyanne ran away often and frequented the city of Tacoma. After her disappearance her sister told law enforcement that Pollyanne frequently did sex work in Tacoma, something her parents did not know. She was last seen in 1984 at age 15.
Diane Nguyen Robbins left her home in the Eastern Washington town of Kennewick to travel to Seattle in Summer 1985 at age 13. Diane had no history of prostitution but had recently began hanging out with an older woman named Molly A. Purdin, aged 21. Molly and Diane went to Seattle and Diane was reported as a runaway when she did not return home. Molly and Diane were last seen in Seattle or Bellevue on June 18th. Molly was found murdered a month later in north King County but there was no sign of Diane. Law enforcement believes Diane and Molly’s disappearances were due to a serial killer but have not specified Ridgway. Snohomish PD is handling the case and says both cases are considered cold. Molly sometimes went by Molly Purdin-Clary. She lived in Kennewick, Washington before going missing. Little information is available.
Virginia Rambus was a Seattle woman who went missing at age 19 from south Seattle, Washington in 1985. Virginia left her apartment to visit a coworker who lived in the same complex. They were planning on going to a party together in the Rainier neighborhood, but Virginia never made it to her friend’s unit. At the time of her disappearance, serial killer Jesse Pratt also lived in her complex. He is the prime suspect in her disappearance. Virginia had no links to prostitution or drugs and held down a steady professional job. Her case is included in this piece only because of where she lived and the time period she disappeared.
Doris Mulhern went missing from the SeaTac strip in 1987 when she was 21 years old. She and her boyfriend traveled all around the country; they were originally from Michigan. Both lived “transient, high-risk” lifestyles. Mulhern’s boyfriend took her to the mall and he never saw her again. The last time she was seen, she was walking down the SeaTac strip.
Margaret Diaz was 31 when she vanished from Tacoma in 1988. Margaret had a high-risk lifestyle and frequently worked in the Hilltop area of Tacoma. She moved around a lot but tried to keep in contact with her three kids regularly. That contact stopped in 1988 and she has been missing ever since.
Deborah Yvonne Wims sister of Cheryl Wims was last seen shopping on the SeaTac strip in 1990. She worked the strip in 1990 and disappeared when she was 31 years old. Her car was found parked on Pacific Highway south but there was no Deborah. Little information is available in her case. Her family believes she is a victim of Ridgway.
Darci Warde was 16 years old in 1990. She was located by police in Seattle who returned to her parents- she had been reported missing previously. She immediately ran away again and vanished. Darci had links to prostitution. Law enforcement believes Darci’s disappearance was due to a serial killer but have not specified Ridgway. Little information is available in her case.
Cora McGuirk was 22 in July 1991. She was the young mother of three who worked at a gift shop and was an enrolled student at the University of Washington. Cora went from being a typical working mother and student to suddenly dropping out of sight for one-two days at a time. Cora asked her aunt to look after her children in case anything bad happened to her, something that worried her aunt. The pieces fell into place when Cora brought home a new boyfriend who was using hard drugs. It is unknown if Cora was using but her aunt thought it was a likely explanation for her behavior. Cora left her children with her aunt and said she would be gone for a bit. She never returned and her abandoned car was found parked on Aurora Avenue north. Cora’s first priority was always her children even in those last few chaotic months of her life she made sure her kids had a safe place to be. Her family does not think she disappeared of her own accord. Cora’s aunt adopted and raised her three children, the oldest of which, Martell Webster, grew up to play professional basketball for the Portland Trailblazers. He was 4 when he last saw his mother.
Helen Tucker was last seen in Tacoma in 1994 when she went to the police station to report that a John had beat her up. This was the last time anyone ever saw the 27 year old. Helen struggled with addiction and homelessness but she was regularly in contact with her family and her young child who was being raised by a family friend. Tucker was first reported missing in 2000, after family members realized that no one had formally reported her missing. Her case was originally given to the Green River task force who ruled out Ridgway and then returned the file to the Tacoma PD. New investigators report that while they believe Tucker died at the hands of a separate predator, Ridgway cannot be conclusively ruled out.
Tami Faye Kowalchuk was only 17 when she was last heard from in December 1999. Like Hunter,Kowalchuk was from Tacoma and struggled with addiction to methamphetamine and often turned to sex work in order to make money. In 1999, she told her mother she was going to travel the county with a long haul trucker, her mother reminded her that she had a court ordered curfew and that that wasn’t a wise idea. This was the last time Kowlachuk was ever heard from. Her mother still searches for her daughter today.
Jennifer Mae Enyart age 16 had a life similar to Tami Faye. As a teen she began running away from home and was arrested on a few occasions. One day in 2000, she was arrested by Seattle police, who called her parents to pick her up. They drove to Seattle and retrieved their daughter but when they stopped for gas, Jennifer escaped the car and disappeared into downtown Tacoma. No one has heard from her since.
Jennifer, Tami Faye, Helen, and two other later victims, Debra Ann Honey-Hooks, and Danielle Mouton are believed to be victims of the same serial predator who was stalking women with high risk lifestyles in Tacoma from 1994-2005. However, TPD have said that Ridgway cannot be ruled out as the killer of the three earliest victims.
Cases with loose or former links to the Green River Killer. Some of these women are mentioned in one book or one source only. Some women’s names are believed to be aliases which is why information is sparse. My research has yielded little information on several of the women below.
Cherry Greenman was last known to be alive in September 1976 when she was released from the Douglas County jail in Waterville, Washington at age 20. Cherry was reportedly a “free spirit” who hitchhiked and wandered throughout the United States. Those who knew her reported that she would lose contact with loved ones for months to years at a time, so it would not surprise them if she was alive for years after her last known sighting. However, they believe she would have called her family eventually. She was not reported missing until 2004. One source says she has been ruled out as a Ridgway victim but other sources say she cannot be ruled out. Greenman is also a possible victim of Rodney Alcala. I have submitted Greenman as a possible match for Jane Doe B-20.
Leann Virginia Wilcox died in late 1981. She fits the Ridgway profile to a tee, and was found near other dump sites but DNA on her body belongs to an unknown man, not Ridgway. Initially on the Green River list, Wilcox’s case is no longer considered a Ridgway murder, but he cannot be 100% ruled out.
Theresa Kline died in 1982. She was in her 20s at the time and was known to hitchhike. Initially on the Green River list, Kline’s case is no longer considered a Green River homicide. Little information is available. My research has yielded little information on Theresa’s case, her death may not be a murder and her name may be an alias.
Debra Kay King disappeared from Tacoma in July 1982 when she was only 24. Little information is available in her case but foul play is suspected. My research has yielded little information on Debra’s case, her name may be an alias.
Laronda Marie Bronson disappeared November 19, 1982 from Portland, Oregon. The 18-year-old was last seen at a bus stop. Laronda had ties to prostitution in both Washington and Oregon and the King County Sherriff’s office is the investigating agency in her case. For reasons unknown, sources say she is known to be a Green River victim, although she is technically missing.
Trina Deanne Hunter died in 1982. Initially on the Green River list, Hunter’s case is no longer considered a Green River murder. Little information is available.
Kimberly Ann Reames Larson disappeared from the SeaTac strip in 1983. Her body was found the next day. (This info is available in only one book on Ridgway- no other information is available.) My research has yielded little information on Kimberly’s case, her name may be an alias.
Tonya Lee Clemmons disappeared from the SeaTac area in 1983 but was not reported missing for a year. Tonya’s aunt said that Tonya always called, especially on holidays but the phone calls stopped in 1983. Tonya did not have a record for prostitution but she frequented areas known for sex work such as the SeaTac strip.
Kimberly Yvette Hill of Portland was last seen getting into a hatchback car with Washington license plates. Kimberly was a sex worker and was only 19 years old. Her body was found dumped the next day. Her 1984 murder is still unsolved.
Kathleen Arita was a 38-year-old computer operator at Boeing. She was last seen in May 1984, leaving her home in Renton. Her body was later found near the Star Lake road Green River dump site. She had been strangled. In general, she is not considered a Green River victim but the placement of her body is suspicious.
Jacqueline L. Sexton a Portland native who worked as a sex worker, disappeared in December 1984. Her body was found 3 days later. (This info is available in only one book on Ridgway- no other information is available.) My research has yielded little information on Sexton’s case, her name may be an alias.
Rose Marie Kurran was a 16-year-old from the Bellingham area. Rose was known to hitchhike. She was last seen on Pacific Highway south in 1987. Her body was later found near SeaTac airport. She had been strangled. Her family described her as an animal lover and a free spirit. Some sources say she is a known GRK victim.
Kimberly Delange was last seen at a Puyallup shopping center in 1988. Her body was later found in Enumclaw, near the body of later victim Anna Chebetnoy. Little information is available in her case.
Kerry Anne Walker of Renton, disappeared in 1988 after walking away from her home on Rainier avenue. Her body was found later in South King county. She was 15 years old. Little information is available. My research has yielded little information on Walker’s case, her name may be an alias.
Shannon L. Pease, 15 was found dead in the Lakewood area of Tacoma in 1988. She was last seen in an area known for prostitution. Little information is available. My research has yielded little information on Shannon’s case, her name may be an alias.
Robyn Kenworthy, 20 called her mom from Aurora Avenue one night and said she was coming home and was going to try to kick heroin for good. Robyn, who worked as a dancer, never made it home. Robyn was found dead from an undetermined cause later in a wooded area of Snohomish county in 1988. Ridgway is a suspect in her case.
Jennifer Burnetto, 32 had also fallen prey to addiction. Jennifer worked the streets of Tacoma in 1988. She was found dead from stab wounds in Snohomish county near the body of Robyn Kenworthy. Ridgway is a suspect in her case.
Tracey Wooten washed up on a beach in Tacoma at age 26 in 1990. Tracey had a history of drug use and sex work. Tragically, Law Enforcement has been unable to find any friends or family. My research has yielded little information on Tracey’s case, her name may be an alias.
Anna Lee Chebetnoy was last seen at a Puyallup shopping center in 1990, the same one Kim Delange disappeared from. Her body was later found in Enumclaw, only 100 feet from Kim Delange’s body. Ridgway was known to leave bodies in Enumclaw in the past. Little information is available in her case.
Tia Hicks was a 20-year-old who struggled with addiction and worked the streets of Aurora Ave. north in Seattle. Tia was found dead from an undetermined cause in a car in 1991. There is a suspect in her murder, if she was murdered. Her death is still a mystery.
Heather Marie Kinchen disappeared in 1991. She was living in Seattle’s Capitol Hill neighborhood when she disappeared at age 14. The Florida girl’s remains were found in July 1991 in North Bend, Washington. Little information is available.
Sarah Marshlene Habakangas disappeared in 1991. She was working on the Pacific Highway south when she was last seen at age 17. Her remains were found in July 1991 in North Bend, Washington. Little information is available.
Nicole French aged 19 disappeared in 1992. She was good friends with Sarah Habakangas. Her remains were found in North Bend, Washington near the remains of Heather Kinchen and Sarah Habakangas. Little information is available.
Sue Ellen Walker was 32 years old in 1992. She was believed to be living in Seattle but had no permanent address and was transient. She was not reported missing for several years. Little information is available in her case.
Lisa Karen Sheer age 32, went missing from Auburn, Washington in 1994 near somewhere Ridgway was known to frequent. Sheer has a long history of dropping out of sight for extensive periods of time. It appears that she may have been transient. Very little is known about Sheer, and no one has heard from her since 1994.
Tukwila Jane Doe: In January 1997 contractors in Tukwila, Washington were digging to build a new house when they uncovered human bones. Only known as Tukwila Jane Doe, this person was determined to be an adult female of unknown race and age. A full skeleton was not found. Due to the placement and location of the body investigators believe Tukwila Jane Doe may be a victim of Ridgway. The skeleton's postmortem interval is unknown at this time. The body was found wearing one tube sock and a blue hair barrette. Near the body there was a blue cloth, nylon type underwear W/ "JC Penny" & "Long" on the waistband, a red nylon type cloth, a brown & tan cloth, lace bikini-cut underwear, and some cloth with green, orange and blue stripes. The Doe is not Dagmar Linton.
Anitra Renee Mulwee was last seen at a New Year’s Eve party in 2000/2001, but she never made it home to Tacoma. Anitra’s body was found a few weeks later near a former dump spot of the GRK. Despite the location of the body, there is no evidence that Anitra’s death was a homicide. Anitra did have ties to the scene as she had several drug and alcohol related offenses in her background. That particular dumping spot had been discovered by investigators years earlier, meaning that if Anitra was a victim of Ridgway, he would have dumped her body in place regularly surveilled by law enforcement, something he was not known to do. Little information is available in her case.
Conclusion
Even though Gary Ridgway was arrested almost 20 years ago, the aftermath of his crimes live on. King County Sheriff's Office still has a unit assigned to the Green River homicides and they're asking for information and tips which could help solve some of these mysteries which still haunt King County almost two decades later. They also encourage those whose relatives may have gone missing in the 1970s, 80s, 90s to contact them especially if they lived or worked in the area where Ridgway was known to operate. For years, many citizens did not know they could report their loved ones missing if their loved ones left of their own accord and were adults. Because of this misconception many people who may be victims of Ridgway or other predators have never been reported missing. You have a relative or friend who matches this description I would encourage you to contact the Green River Task Force at 206-263-2130 or email at [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]).
What do you think? Are any of the women profiled victims of Gary Ridgway?
Sources
Green River Running Red by Ann Rule
The Riverman: Ted Bundy and I hunt for the Green River Killer by Bob Keppel and William Birnes
The Search for the Green River Killer: The True Story of America's Most Prolific Serial Killer by Carlton Smith and Tomas Guillen
https://archive.seattletimes.com/archive/?date=19920727&slug=1504298
http://charleyproject.org/case/keli-kay-mcginness
https://unidentified.wikia.org/wiki/Green_River_victims
https://www.kingcounty.gov/depts/sheriff/about-us/enforcement/investigations/green-river.aspx
http://www.seattlemag.com/article/remembering-victims-green-river-killer
https://archive.seattletimes.com/archive/?date=19911121&slug=1318612
https://www.q13fox.com/news/vanished-search-for-5-women-missing-in-tacoma-includes-possibility-of-serial-predator

Build your opponent a golden bridge to retreat across.
Sun Tzu, Art of War
Everything was for tomorrow, but tomorrow never came. The present was only a bridge and on this bridge they are still groaning, as the world groans, and not one idiot ever thinks of blowing up the bridge.
Henry Miller, Tropic of Capricorn
I was wrong! Blow the bridge! Blow the fucking bridge!
Tugg Speedman, Tropic Thunder
Hello again GME Gang! It’s been a while since I last ranted at you, but I know we’ve been in some very good hands here at WSB with all the great DD folks have posted over the past few weeks. So no need for CPT Hubbard to go for 11 again on the Thumbscroll Dial (until today, that is). I’ve enjoyed a lot of these posts very much, so thank you on behalf of myself and the attention-deficient Rocket Children for continuing to deliver that 100% Chaff-Free GME-grade Wheat at such a feverish clip.
Now, I am going to get to Hong Kong’s Lamest Outlaw and his disconcertingly vacant eyes here shortly. But first I want to take you on a journey back to Christmas Eve, in the year of our lord 2020—a heady time in all our lives. We were all so young and innocent then, weren’t we? Fresh off the run up to 22. Blissfully oblivious that we were living in the last moments where the question What is The War of 1812? was the only acceptable Jeopardy question for the answer: The Last Time the Goddamn U.S. Capitol Was Stormed. This was also before we all became irresponsibly overleveraged in Cathie Wood’s Ornamental Gourds ETF. It was a wondrous, confusing time.
But before we get too off topic, let’s all hop in my 1985 DeLorean (purchased with proceeds from my Jan 15 calls – thanks RC!), fire up the ol’ Flux Capacitor, and get that shit to 88 because something happened that evening that is Worth Pondering—particularly in light of recent events. And just as a friendly reminder: even though you’re going back in time in a DeLorean, no one here has to deviate funds away from GME shares to Save the Clock Tower and you are under no obligation to fulfill a scenario where you wind up making out with your Mom (unless your Mom is Cathie Wood like mine—in which case maybe just some quick over-the-clothes stuff).
On the Subject of How It Once ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas
So what in the holy fuck happened on the night before Christmas, Captain? Well, while all you Gentiles were sleeping soundly after lying to your children about benign home intruders and before gorging yourself on the teat of late-stage capitalism, me and the rest of the Chosen People were up late eating Chinese food and thinking about tendies (self-hating Jew Joke! Ba-zing!). But then: when out on the electric twitter machine there arose such a clatter, I sprang to my phone to see what was the matter. And what to my wondering eyes did appear, a mysterious tweet from a Rich-Ass Viking who had a lot of fucking interesting things to say about this whole GME situation that’s what.
This tweet, buried as a reply to a tweet sent by Mr. Rod Alzmann (@RodAlzmann or u/Uberkikz11), simply said: “Merry Christmas. Shhh.” But it included this screen shot:
[**Image Deleted Due to the Mods - check the link below where someone transcribed it - I'll try to add later**]
Now, this tweet to Rod, sent late at night and likely after a strong Mead or three, was very promptly deleted. But your intrepid cub reporter saw this here tweet that night with his own two eyes—seeing as I am a degenerate GME addict and devoted follower of Mr. Rod Alzmann (Hi Rod!). And I took screenshots, of course, like any responsible records custodian might. And so did the dude who wrote a somewhat-overlooked WSB post on this, which included the most pertinent text of the message if you are having trouble reading it here:
https://www.reddit.com/wallstreetbets/comments/kk0omp/christmas_miracle_gamergate_2020_gme_shorts/
Now, what are we to make of this? At the time, I thought it was very interesting. But I did not give it too much attention seeing as how the internet is overcrowded with anonymous weirdos claiming to know more than they do about all sorts of subjects (and now I feel your judging eyes…). Also, there was some very good commentary in that WSB post from some sharp folks about the screenshot author’s questionable use of the shorthand PE/IB—given that private equity and investment banks wouldn’t apparently be involved in a behind-the-scenes transaction with the short funds like what was being discussed there (don’t ask me, I just string together silly words here). But maybe you poke around his Twitter a bit and see for yourself.
Still, plausibility assessments based on preferred nomenclature aside, it seemed to me that some version of that conversation had to be taking place behind the scenes in a situation like this—given the batshit insane short interest, the funds supposedly involved, and the rapid rise in SP coinciding with RC’s share accumulation, December 21st amended 13D filing, and new status as a GME Insider and Board member (just love saying all that in a row, don’t you?).
So the Viking’s screenshot tweet, and the very likely possibility that shorts are in so deep that they’re attempting to negotiate peace with large shareholders behind the scenes, stuck in my tiny little baby brain as a pretty plausible set of scenarios. And from the look of it, it seems like some funds were at least willing to discuss offering these shorts a Golden Bridge away from Certain Fucking Destruction on the open market. And if the words on the screenshot are at all aligned with reality, these short funds have no good options.
Yet it seems like they are still playing hardball to negotiate the carat on this generous bridge offer they’re getting. Why? Maybe they’ve been getting high on their own supply for so long and they don’t know how to see this situation for what it is. Who knows? Maybe there is no Ryan Cohen and we’re all living in a simulation. But if the recent low-rent anti-GME articles and market manipulation efforts we’re seeing are any indication, these overleveraged short fuckers seem to think they’re going to be able to spin out of this hold and drive the SP back down to even smaller peanuts than it’s at now by sheer force of will (and some deployment of well-honed tricks of the trade amirite?) to emerge unscathed. Or even victorious? I dunno—it’s their delusional fantasy sequence.
But do you know what this scenario reminds me of? And this is just coming to me so please bear with me as I’m not showing this to my editor before we print (I haven’t seen this movie in ages – don’t know what made me think of this!). Fuck it, I’m just gonna start riffing here. The shorts trying to thread this needle, against all odds and logic and common sense, reminds me of that hilarious scene in Dumb and Dumber where haplessly delusional Jim Carrey thinks he has a chance with Mary Samsonite Swanson. But the scene is funny because he really doesn’t. Have any chance. At all.
Now, I know this is a 1990s movie originally released on VHS that we haven’t seen it or even seen it referenced in ages. But now that you’re thinking of it again after all this time, doesn’t it remind you of this too? I know, I get it: You’d have to have fucking peanuts for brains for it not to.
(https://twitter.com/ryancohen/status/1350877969816956934?s=20)
On the Subject of the Continued Internet Bumbling of Mr. Justin Dopierala
Now that screenshot came to mind this past week when something kind of weird happened while we were all enjoying our quick rocket ship ride. And yes, we are briefly going to talk again about Seeking Alpha’s second finest pro-GME author (always been more of a Dmitriy man myself) and recurring CPT Hubbard character, Justin Dopierala (and no, Angela, I do not want to have like 10,000 of his babies).
Last Thursday, after we were all virtually high-fiving one another and counting our future Lambos, Mr. Justin Dopierala, head of Domo Capital and longstanding uber-bull GME shareholder and author at Seeking Alpha (last seen arguing pithily with our own Rod Alzmann about the conservative nature of Rod’s holiday earnings projections. Hi again Rod!), made it known that he sold all of Domo Capital’s 500,000 shares for around $42.50—at the very top of the run up last Thursday morning.
Now, Domo Capital’s business decisions are none of my goddamn business. And there are plenty of market opportunities right now. Shit, I hear there is even a new Cathie Wood Gourd ETF coming online soon that people are really excited about and that I’m sure Justin’s clients would find intriguing. But Domo’s decision to sell seemed curious given a few things: (1) on Wednesday, when the rocket is mid-flight, he got a twitter follow from Gabe Plotkin, head of Melvin Capital, which he promptly tweeted about with a “get a load of this fuckin’ guy” vibe (oh the sweet, intoxicating arrogance of tendie victory, I too love it so); (2) he had also tweeted that day comparing GME’s rise to Apron’s short squeeze that lasted 4 days—where he also stressed to his followers that Apron had a much lower SI than GME; and (3) he then promptly deleted all of these tweets and almost everything else GME-related on Thursday after apparently introducing 500,000 shares of liquidity into the height of a stressed market up and through the Thursday reversal and down into his own personal tendie town.
Now, after seeing all this, I mouthed off a bit to Justin on the electric twitter machine because that’s kind of my thing. And if you are familiar with my prior ramblings, you know that he and I go way back. In response, Justin talked a bit of shit about your intrepid cub reporter here in a comment on Dimitry Kozin’s October 21, 2020 article about a possible sony revenue share deal or something, the comment section of which has become the preferred SA water cooler over there. (And I can’t link that because Thems The Rulez). And Justin hurt my little feelings a bit with his very sharp denial. And by all means have at it over there to check out his comment about why he sold if you give a shit. That is if Justin hasn’t deleted it yet. Free country and all.
But to summarize, on the subject of treacherous coordination with Melvin Capital, Justin said he would not could not in a boat and he would not could not with a goat. And I for one believe him. And do you know why? Because even though Justin seems like a very smart guy in some ways, he’s also a well-known internet bumbler who blurts out things to his internet friends that a person with better self-control would keep to themselves. And so I do not think he is capable of pulling that off or keeping a secret like that. Also: he said he didn’t so I am more than willing to give someone the benefit of any doubt in that area and you should too. I think we keep Hanlon’s razor firmly in mind here about never attributing to malice that which is explained by stupidity. That is unless, of course, you’re Andrew Left and you’re actually trying to convince people that you didn’t realize there was a US presidential inauguration planned for the same time you announced your Super Important TeeVee Yammerfest ‘21 about GME not being a good candidate for an imminent short squeeze no way no how not if my name isn’t Andrew Left short seller expert extraordinaire and Hong Kong’s Most Misunderstood Ethically-Minded Businessman. You can ascribe the fuck out of malice to that one.
No, even though I really have no idea, I think the most likely thing that happened there was that Gabe Plotkin, Master of the Universe, Head of Melvin Capital, and Acolyte of Perennial Most Ethical Business Man MVP candidate, Steven Cohen—got into Justin’s head when Plotkin followed him on twitter during the 57% (at one point 94%) day last Wednesday and then Justin got a bit chippy about it.
And this is the real reason I’m bringing this up.
Because I honestly care very little about the Nervous Investing Habits of the Wisconsin hedge fund voted most likely to prompt a Mr. Roboto reference. No: I think that Gabe Plotkin sent a message with that follow. Without even ever having to say it directly. And I think that after GME’s huge run and getting a little overexcited while working the twitter machine, Justin maybe had a chance to relax with a warm glass of milk that night and reflect on that message. Which I believe was: I’m watching you, motherfucker. And the only reason I’m paying any attention to some shitstain Wisconsin pseudo-fund on a day like today when I am getting my ass fucking torched is because I want you to know that if this GME shit blows up on me, I’m going to fuck your ass up. I will remember the name Domo Capital forevermore. And when you least expect me, I’ll be there. Now: your move, motherfucker.
And once I realized what might have happened there, that made me feel kinda bad for Justin if he felt that way. Definitely a puss move because fuck you Plotkin I drink your fucking milkshake, right? But bad because that’s a mean message for a business colleague to send, Gabriel. Shame on you if that's how you roll like a big New York bully and scaring our poor Justin like that. And if you just wanted to follow him to shoot the shit or swap listicles and Star Wars Prequel memes with a respected contemporary—even in the very midst of getting fucking annihilated while short GME—well Justin has a totally different account for that and he’s not allowed to access it during work hours.
On The Likelihood That The Most Heavily Shorted Stock in History Is Not Being Subject to Continued Market Manipulation When A Steve Cohen Acolyte Is Losing His Fucking Shirt
Have you heard about Steve Fucking Cohen? The guy who looks like he’s tip top of the list of the premier Hollywood casting agency’s rolodex for Saddest Dipshit Still At the Strip Club After Everyone Else Has Already Gone Home? I’m sorry, that’s mean and my mother told me to always be kind to the truly hideous looking because they’re probably still beautiful on the inside (spoiler alert: he’s not!).
Get a load of this guy:
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2014-01-02/why-sac-capitals-steven-cohen-isnt-in-jail
https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/business/story/2020-09-02/controversial-hedge-fund-billionaire-steven-cohen-takes-on-hollywood
https://www.marketwatch.com/story/steven-a-cohen-among-the-million-dollar-donors-to-trump-inauguration-2017-04-19
https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2016/11/steve-cohen-trump
https://nypost.com/2015/06/17/billionaire-steve-cohen-bros-out-with-guy-fieri/
Are you back? I’ve missed you. That was scary, wasn’t it? But allow me to TL/DR all that for you who decided to avoid all that unpleasantness: the dude just has all this bad luck and keeps finding himself into these really awkward situations where someone could potentially question his commitment to ethical business and life practices as well as adherence to the laws of the United States and it’s just not fair and nothing’s fair and Nice Guy Steve Cohen Is The Victim Here So Just Stop Right There Mister I See What You’re Doing. He's also bros with Guy Fieri. Cool.
But why am I talking about a guy who would so clearly pass Billy Madison’s Final Question about Business Ethics without even breaking a sweat?
Because Steve Cohen once had a young Ace Protegee that he loved very much. With the name of an Archangel, so tender and pure. And one day this young man decided he wanted to Prove Himself and Leave Steve’s Nest. And thus was born Melvin Capital, seeded financially by Steve Cohen but named after famed Crooner Melvin H. Tormé, which Gabe’s esteemed mentor Steve would play in his office, over and over, all those years ago.
Now let’s fast forward a bit because I’m boring myself with all that fucking Cohen reading (the bad Cohen—don’t you dare get anyone confused here). As I was saying: Gabe Plotkin, head of Melvin Capital, has by all accounts gotten himself into a bit of a pickle here being so deeply short GME. Lots of people have analyzed and overanalyzed it, and I’m not going to do it again here; that dead horse is well and truly beaten. But to bottom line it: we’re all just staring down what is essentially an unprecedented math problem that will, at some point, resolve itself. And if it revolves itself in favor of the Good Guys, then the Bad Guys will lose a Fuck-ton of Money. That’s your money block quote, WSJ, so fuck off and stop calling me.
Now: picture yourself as a Steve Cohen acolyte that just bought a $44M Miami Compound and who cannot stop talking about how co-owning the Charlotte Hornets is worth it just for the courtsides alone bro once basketball is a thing again and so what if Michael Jordan keeps calling him Gary it’s close enough. Are you feeling the most financially secure that you have ever felt in your young rich life right about now? Or might you be a wee bit worried that you’ve pursued an investment thesis so reckless, so irrationally and intentionally destructive of equity, that even Melvin H. Tormé himself must be rolling in his fucking grave that you would ever dare put at risk your ability to continue being Michael Jordan’s Gary?
And so here is when I again link my good buddy Jim Cramer’s Great Unveiling of the Tactics Deployed by Short Sellers hoping to change the narrative and construct a “new truth” to suppress the SP in the face of, oh, let’s just say: a very promising turnaround story in a high-growth industry by an e-Commerce Canadian Genius who does not fuck around and who knows what he’s fucking doing and aims to sell more and better video games experiences to crackhead video gamers and there’s a million things he wants to do but just you wait, just you wait.
Is this plot that hard to follow?
And I’ll also say this: I know fuck-all about monitoring order flows or how funds continue to create synthetic shares to short shit into oblivion. But I’m just stepping back and thinking of the broader narrative and tactics on this. Spit-balling here again—bear with me. Now, if you were massively short a security while paying out your ass in borrowing fees for the privilege of entering the most crowded short trade in the market and you’re now opposite a massive business turnaround story, Ryan Cohen, numerous institutions, funds, retail whales, Norwegian HNW Freemason Consortiums, and the energy behind the Finest Rocket Children Ever to Grace Planet Fucking Earth—and you’re taking it in the ass week after week here—Do you then play this straight? Do you set aside all of these illegal and deceptive short tactics Jim Cramer candidly outlines in that video even though they’re impossible to enforce and are in fact not enforced? That Jim basically says you’d be professionally negligent if you were short and didn’t do this shit because fuck it whosgonnastopyou? And now you fucked up and that steamroller is barreling down upon you and there are all these things you could theoretically do try to get yourself out of this jam if you were That Kind of Person? Do you set this all aside and, at least in Jim’s view, tie one hand behind your precious ethical back? On the most heavily shorted stock off all time where you are bleeding Real Life Big-Boy Money? Just buying and selling you know, just a job, honest living, nothing much to it, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, can't get too carried away with it.
Or is it something a little bit fucking different than that?
I don’t know. I’m not in the industry myself. And I would never accuse anyone of doing anything so clearly contrary to the values upon which their professional career as Master of the Universe was built. So Gabe: chill. Don’t follow me or something on twitter man, since for all I know that’s Plotkinese for I Hope You Don’t Mind Sleeping With This Severed Horse Head in Your Bed Motherfucker. It’s just money, dude. You seem pretty well taken care of. But man would I be sweating if I were short right now staring down the barrel of your new neighbor Ryan Cohen’s whims and patience and polite Canadian manners and ambiguous emojis that we all lose our shit for. I mean, fuck man: are you ok? Don’t forget to exercise and eat well during all this. Maybe switch to green tea or something. And remember: you’ll always—always—be Michael Jordan’s Gary.
But here is where we return to our good friend Andrew Left from Citron Research.
Do you remember the excitement you felt this past weekend? I’ve never seen WSB so jacked. People were coming out hot on Tuesday—an uptick day! The new phone book’s here! The new phone book's here! What luck to be free of Gary’s tomfoolery for one fine day. And then GME spiked right away—reaching a high of over $45 that morning.
But then something happened. We all know what it was. But here is where any SEC lookie-loos need to close those Pornhub links and pay closer attention. Because in the moments before the Citron tweet that morning about Andy’s upcoming BuzzFeed Listicle call on Why GME is Scary Investment GRRRR, total short shares available dropped from 1.2M to 0. And a $300K put bet was placed on a weekly with a strike price well over 10% out of the money at the very moment that GME’s price was accelerating rapidly. (H/t u/FatAspirations). That’s some WSB-level shit right there.
And yet they pull it off! GME immediately shoots down nearly 30% intraday, and eventually climbing abck up above 10%, making us all feel a little weird and like ungrateful millennial brats for feeling so shitty about a 10% day. But we all know what fucking happened, now don’t we?
So what can we say about ol’ Andy? Now, many of you know Andy as the dumbshit who shorted TSLA until he was ground into little bits of dumb dumb dust and made to look ever so foolish over and over again until he finally cried drunk uncle and flipped to being long TSLA and now he’s cool to you or whatever. Or you might know him as the guy who puts out really shoddy research that often, by pure happenstance, drives a new narrative to control the orderflow and SP on a WSB-beloved security like PLTR? You know the guy I’m talking about. Once in hot pursuit by Hong Kong fuzz, an International Man of Obviousness with a face that says: why yes, I will have another vodka tonic thankyouverymuch. That’s him.
Well, just like future call-back candidate for the role of Frightened Inmate #2, Mr. Steve Cohen, Andy is also but a Caveman—frightened and confused by your modern concepts of “ethics” and “rules.” No! No!—He’s a straight shooter! Devoted to rooting out obvious frauds, like Lukin Coffee and TSLA (Do not fuck with Elon or my Hot Mom’s ETF, Andy). And like the aspirations of Antoine Bugle Boy when he entered the blue jeans market, Andy saw an overcrowded short trade here based on an overly simplistic and obsolete short thesis about GME and said: “Me Too!” And as this thing is ripping to the stratosphere, Andy starts ringing his dumb dumb twitter bell and saying hear ye, hear ye—Inauguration Day and time it shall be for all my Big Brain thoughts about GME!
Nothing weird about that. No sir.
So Andy Citron or whatever the fuck his name is will be putting out some dumbshit video or something today in what seems to be a pretty clear attempt to scare my poor Rocket Children and get those pesky computers to high frequency this shit to drive the SP down to more acceptable loss levels (cause let’s be honest: they’re still taking a fucking bath here) for Mel Tormé’s namesake hedgefund and all the other cretins that are dug into short position here. And they’re gonna try to scare ya’ with the color red! And they know that no one here likes the color red.
But do see what’s going on here and who we’re dealing with. This really ain’t rocket science, Rocket Children. The dude actually tried to claim he forgot about the Inauguration. In 2021. He has not been in a coma, to the best of my knowledge. But you do look a little bleary eyed, Andy. Must have been all that staying up super late working on those last few bullet points to fill out the powerpoint on that GME listicle of yours, eh sport?
Conclusion: On the Subject of Patience and The Arc of The Universe Bending Toward Ryan Fucking Cohen
In my youth there was a period of time where I went out on boats that would drop crates into the waters of the Arctic. Bundled inside them were raw pieces of meat. In the coming days the boats would head back out to the frigid seas, hook the floats bobbing upon the waters, and pull the crates up. Packed inside would be many crabs. They were so delicious & made a good price at market. The difference between the crate that was empty and the create full of bounty was a mystery even the great physicist Erwin Schrödinger pondered at much length.
But the hearty fishermen of my youth already knew the answer long ago. Why did the trap fill up? Time. In time, all traps fill. In time, all things pondered shall be revealed.
--The Fucking Viking, That’s Who
Now look, you all know I have a soft spot for Ryan Cohen. Hell, we all do. He’s a good dude. And the man has played this flawlessly so far. He really has. The fact that we are all sitting here with Ryan Cohen having successfully negotiated three seats on the Board—a bloodless coup as my man Rod Alzmann says—here in January? It’s amazing. His vision for GME is dialed-the-fuck in and extremely exciting. This misunderstood business is on the threshold of an exciting turnaround with Ryan Cohen at the helm. And though I was very much looking forward to the potential repercussions of a vote being called at the annual meeting and what that might mean for the short-term share price, this result is infinitely better. Whatever their motivations, that Board and George Sherman saw the writing on the wall here and accepted the Golden Bridge that Ryan offered them. And Ryan Cohen has done everything he’s set out to do here. And he’s clearly been having fun while doing it. Read up on the guy at some point if you haven’t–there’s lots of good DD out there on him, obviously. And while you’re reading and thinking about Ryan Cohen, think also about guys like Steve Cohen (no fucking relation) and Gabe Plotkin and Andy Left and how lucky we are that we get to roll with RC against that motley crew of fuckwads.
And do you know what? I’m guessing that RC, and maybe even the funds being discussed in that screenshot, have been very patient with Mr. Plotkin et al in recent weeks. You don’t go around bankrupting hedge funds willy nilly, you know--bad form and all that old chap. People tend to remember that. And guys like Steve Cohen and Gabe Plotkin seem like they play for keeps. So now you try to build them a Golden Bridge to cross—maybe not their preferred route of travel, but could be worse and all that, right guys? But for whatever reason it seems like the natural instinct here on the short side is fight over flight. And these short FUD tactics are getting increasingly ridiculous to help slow down the inevitable march toward the detonator right next to that bridge. So relax everyone! And let’s not fool ourselves: All those Masters of the Universes are well aware of the math problem they’re all facing here and they must have a vague grasp of the odds that this goes off in one direction over the other. And what that could mean for the size of their money pits and how many sports teams they can buy this year. Shit, I assume Steve Cohen is counseling his young acolyte about how many sads he himself felt deep down in his man heart on that fateful day in 2008 when he lost $250M on a short when Volkswagon squeezed to infinity—a sadness that he will continue to draw on when his agent finally finds him a role that calls for it.
But my point is: the longs here can afford to be patient and let this play out. When this thing moves, the Viking’s Schrödinger crabs will only be in one pot. And I’m guessing that pot is the one being held by the guy who is actually in total control here: Ryan Goddamn Cohen.
So enjoy the show today. If you’re anything like me, you’re feeling relaxed after gorging yourself on lucky space peanuts all week.(https://solarsystem.nasa.gov/news/10022/lucky-peanuts/)
And though these silly wabbits with their cumbersome FUD efforts can get a bit tiresome, I’m still very much enjoying this GME show at this point and almost do not want it to end—what with all these Sorkin-esque twists and turns and my Cohen Tweet Decorder Ring getting all this sweet action.
But just remember who Ryan Cohen is, what he cares about, and what, so far, he has told us he intends to do here. And then you might realize, as I have, that Ryan Cohen has had the Gray’s Sports Almanac here all along. This story has already been written. He’s already won. And Melvin Capital’s Schrödinger-ass crabs are dead as fuck. The only question now is: what causes that Golden Bridge to blow? I, for one, am content to wait on RC while counting my good fortune that I can continue to accumulate until whatever happens here happens. So pass the rocket peanuts.
It’s just money after all. Right Gabe?
TL/DR: Psst: a Mysterious Viking once told me about behind-the-scenes Golden Bridge negotiations that are likely taking place that give shorts no chance but the shorts seem to think they’re saying there’s a chance but there really is no chance; Gabe Plotkin, Steve Cohen and Andy Left are misunderstood Straight Shooters who probably answer typical interview questions about their own perceived weaknesses by saying “Sometimes I just care too much about doing the right thing”; and Ryan Cohen is the Goddamn Man so we can all relax and not worry so much about all this dumb short FUD bullshit, ok? OK. 🚀🚀🚀
**If you construe any of the above as investment advice without doing your own DD or at least Googling Ryan Cohen then you are a fucking idiot and may God have mercy on your soul. You too, Andy.

You can read the post and see Orcus across the editions on Dump Stat

Due to the length of this post, statblocks have been moved to the comments. Spoilers in 5e for Out of the Abyss adventure

Thanks to the TV series Stranger Things (2016), everyone knows Demogorgon. But what about the other original demon lord, Orcus? Arguably the more famous of the two demon lords, Orcus has never been a creature that any hero in their right mind has gone looking for.
Originally a vile mortal whose dastardly deeds resulted in his death, his soul then manifested upon the Abyss as a larva, and the long trek to demon lord began. Slaving away throughout centuries under the cruel command of ancient, and now dead, demon lords, he eventually managed through sheer will to evolve from a larva, to a mane, rutterkin, nalfeshnee, and finally a balor. Unhappy with just that, Orcus conquered the 113th layer, becoming the great demon lord we know today.
Ruling from the Abyss, Orcus lived, died, and was reborn as an undead god. Not bad for an overweight demon that was banished from Dungeons & Dragons in the 1980s. A being of immense power, not only is this creature virtually unstoppable, but he wields a wand bearing his name that can obliterate you with a touch. How has this magnificent lord of evil changed throughout the editions?

OD&D

Orcus’ beginnings start in Supplement III: Eldritch Wizardry (1976) and let’s start with the obvious; you don’t screw with a demon lord. Orcus was everything you pictured when you thought of a demon lord and then some. Incredibly obese, Orcus is over 15 feet tall with a goat faced head and ram horns. His body is covered in thick and tough goat hair, and from his back are two large bat wings with a long serpent-like tail with a poison-tipped spike on the end. While his arms were human in shape, Orcus’ legs were that of a goat, and if we had to guess, he probably smelled like a goat too.
Orcus is the prince of the undead and could summon many of these creatures at will. A prince among demons doesn’t get its hands dirty unless it really wants to, so Orcus could summon wights, wraiths, specters, and even vampires to do his bidding. Unfortunately for you, that probably entails killing you and your friends slowly while he watched with glee. If Orcus kills and decides he wants to torment you a bit more, he could mock you in death as he can cast speak with the dead, which is just adding insult to injury.
If undead wasn’t enough, probably because you heard that he is the prince of the undead and brought along a cleric for good luck, he can also summon demons. While he only has an 80% chance of summoning a demon at the best of times, well, demons were no joke and even that feels a bit too dangerous for us. If he even just summoned a type III demon, they had a minimum of 8 hit dice, had armor classes ranging from 4 to -4, and a variety of abilities by type that included darkness at will, immunity to nonmagical weapons, powerful fear spells, and the ability to polymorph, all on top of its normal attacks. There is no mention of a maximum number of times per day Orcus may use this ability, leading us to believe you could be fighting several different demons for as long as Orcus desires, or until you killed Orcus which is… well…
Now let’s say you somehow manage to take out all of the Demon Lord’s minions and get to fight the big guy himself. His natural defenses are incredibly formidable, as Orcus was highly resistant to magic and had an armor class of -6, which means you aren’t hitting him unless you had a +3 or greater weapon. If you think those items are rare in the 5th edition, they were nearly impossible to find in the earliest editions. As you were trying to figure out how to draw blood from Orcus, he was probably using one, if not more, of its special abilities. Those abilities include a ton of spells like feeblemind, polymorph, lightning bolt, wall of fire, animate dead, and far more.
If you are still feeling confident by the end of your turn in a fight with him, well you won’t feel confident for much longer. Orcus wields a powerful obsidian wand with a skull on top, which is known as the Wand of Orcus. Unless you were a godling, a demon lord, or some other massively powerful creatures, which you never were in this edition, you should just give up now while you still have your soul. A single touch from this instrument of destruction renders the creature dead at the very least and annihilated into a small pile of ash at the worst. It had other powers in case you were worried, like allowing Orcus to heal himself or even to move at double his normal speed. Who needs a sword when you have an artifact of insane power that you named after yourself?
Now Orcus, like other demon lords, did have one weakness. Their souls were kept in small amulets that protected them from permanent death. Of course, this also makes them quite vulnerable, sort of. First one must find the amulet which was incredibly hard since it was often hidden in plain sight, could look like anything, and was non-magical. Orcus was known sometimes to wear his around his neck, but it was not required, as it was for the lesser princes. If you managed to possess the amulet, you had control over Orcus for a maximum of 24 hours, after which you lost all control over them and you better be quick in destroying it. If you destroyed the amulet, it would banish Orcus, or the demon prince it belonged to, to the Abyss for a whole year. Which doesn’t really seem like a long enough time for you to live out the short remainder of your life for demons are rarely the forgiving type. Regardless of how you used the amulet or if you destroyed it, Orcus would remember you and plot your demise. You could offer up an incredible bounty of riches and lavish Orcus with flattery of the highest praise and then, just maybe, Orcus may only kill you in 10 years or so.

Basic D&D

There is little mention of Orcus in this edition, but he does finally show up in the BECMI Immortal Rules Box Set (1986). Orcus gains a huge number of names in this edition, like The Goat, Master of the Dead, Lord of Darkness, or the Black Prince, and even Masauwu, the Legendary Guardian of Death. He is a 4th level Eternal, putting him a step below Demogorgon, although many consider him to be Demogorgon’s equal. Along with Demogorgon, Orcus ruled the sphere of entropy. What is the sphere of entropy and what is a 4th level Eternal?
Four spheres govern almost all of existence, those sphere being: matter, energy, time, and thought. The fifth sphere is called entropy, and it serves as a balance for the other spheres. Entropy in the real world is the absence of order or predictability, leading to the gradual decline of everything into disorder. For our purposes, the sphere of entropy is the name for any changes leading to reducing the essence of the other spheres. Basically, everything eventually ends, and the whole process is the domain of the sphere of entropy. Our demon-filled sphere takes what the four Spheres give or create and breaks it down and destroys it. No wonder it is filled with demons.
A 4th level Eternal is just one of the rankings in this book and helps the reader understand who is more powerful between creatures. In this example, Orcus is only a 4th level Eternal, whereas Demogorgon is a High Eternal, or a 5th level Eternal. Only a few experience points above Orcus. There are other classifications, like Empyreal, Hierarchs, and more, just know that there are only six levels above Demogorgon, and seven above Orcus, until you hit max level in this ruleset.
Orcus remains the same in appearance, although looking at the picture of it in the text, we think he may have lost a little weight… and his wings. He stands 15 feet tall, remains a chunky goat-like humanoid, with two great curled ram's horns, human arms, and goat legs. While it no longer has giant bat wings on its back, the stats give him a fly speed, so maybe now he soars through the air like Superman. His tail is much deadlier as those who are stung by it, and fail their saving throw, lose 1 Hit Die forever and with that, every power, ability, hit points, etc. that comes with it, Orcus then gains that power if he is down any points.
Orcus continues to reign over all undead mortals and even has a few Immortals who follow him. Since he is a demon, he gains a long list of abilities, which doesn’t change from the previous edition and are about what you might suspect. Resistance to magic, speak any language, regeneration, moving between the different planes of existence, and more. Also, Orcus has all the standard abilities and immunities of other demons, but he’s also immune to poison, paralysis, turn to stone, and fear. Orcus can even polymorph into pretty much anything, like a goat. You’ll still need a +3 or better weapon even to scratch him, but you’ll probably have one by now if you're also an immortal and your DM has decided you have to fight this horrible creature. Finally, Orcus can choose to summon demons, undead, more undead, maybe a few of his immortal followers, and more. If you’re brave, or stupid enough, to search out the Lord of Darkness, be prepared for a long and arduous fight.

AD&D

Orcus appears in the Monster Manual (1977), and his title is now Demon Lord and Prince of the Undead. He is shown the proper respect, recognized as the most powerful of all the Demon lords in existence, in your face Demogorgon. While there are very few changes, we are given a bit more detail, which is worth reviewing.
Orcus is so powerful that the text talks about how he can lazily slap people around, and still kill them in a blow or two. Or if someone, probably you, have annoyed him enough he can begin trying and just obliterate you with punches and might even use weapons if he gets bored with punching the wizard’s head off. Once he decides he wants to relax, he can just use his tail to inject you with poison, and unless you make your saving throw with a hefty penalty tacked on to it, you just die. Poison in 1st edition, for monsters, was a save or insta-death affair, so Orcus isn’t unique in his incredibly potent poison. To put some perspective on it, if a fighter is hit by the poison, they just need to roll a 7 or higher on a d20, clerics require a 6 or higher, while magic-users and thieves need a 12 or higher or they get to make a new character.
If you still feel pretty confident that you’ll survive messing with Orcus, probably because you are a fighter and have hundreds of soldiers under your command. Well, Orcus doesn’t care too much about your hoard of level 0 soldiers as he can summon undead minions like skeletons, zombies, shadows, and vampires. To top it all off, he can still bring in demons to help kill off everyone in case the undead decide to take the day off.
The wand of Orcus is shown off in the Dungeon Master’s Guide (1979) where it is described as the ghastly weapon of Orcus. It allows him to travel the planes and so long as it is in his hands, he can boop people with it and immediately annihilate them… unless they are gods, demon lords, or other powerful beings.
In module H4 - The Throne of Bloodstone (1988), Orcus is the focal point in the series’ culmination though his priests and temples have been a focus through the previous three modules in this series. This specific module is recommended for characters levels 18-100. Yes, level 100. You’ve pretty much ascended to godhood at that point, and it’s a good thing too since you'll be traveling to the Abyss, fighting hordes of demons, and taking on Orcus himself. Your primary goal is to steal his wand and return with it to the Seven Heavens of Mount Celestia. First, you must find a portal in the citadel of a creature known as the Witch King, then travel to the Abyss, find your way to Orcus’ castle on the 333rd level, and then you can finally meet up with Orcus. Along the way, you may run into just about any demon lord you can think of, from Jubilex to Graz’zt to Lolth. You can even meet up with Demogorgon, who might help you with your quest since he’s been locked in a war with The Goat for over 100 years. You’ll find out that Orcus has captured Baphomet, has a tarrasque for a neighbor, and lives in a stupidly big fortress made of bones. Orcus’ stat block is adjusted in its fortress, and let’s just say it’s not to the player’s benefit. It is a bit ridiculous that, even with all his enhanced abilities that the module states that Orcus won’t use his wand, since you know, a single touch kills you. But that’s ok since he still has a plethora of other ways to kill you, like slapping you to the ground and then stabbing you with his tail over and over.
In Dragon Magazine #42 (October 1980), we are presented with Orcus’ favorite horse, Hacamuli. It is actually one of the many messengers of the Demon Lord and it appears as a pale, gaunt horse covered in flies and pestilence. Its eyes are black as night, and those that gaze are drained of three levels of life, we can only assume that these are the most intense puppy dog eyes.

2e

Things get weird in the 2nd edition. Demons and devils were banished from the textbooks in the wake of the Satanic Panic of the early 1980s. In response to this issue, the writers at TSR simply removed the creatures that could be associated with hell, satanic rituals, and demon worship. When demons and devils did make their return, they were called the tanar’ri and the baatezu, respectively. This doesn't mean that Orcus disappeared forever, as the excitement eventually died down and Orcus, along with other demons and devils, slowly crept their way back into the game.
Orcus makes his glorious return though it takes far longer than it should, especially since Demogorgon rises in 1992 in the Monster Mythology book. The Lord of Darkness has a rough start and doesn’t show up until Hellbound: The Blood War (1996), and it is announced that Orcus had been slain by Kiaransalee, a drow demi-goddess of undeath. Later, it is confirmed in On Hallowed Ground (1996), that Orcus is dead and it covers the 113th layer of the Abyss, which is called Thanatos, the Belly of Death. The description of this layer mirrors that of the 333rd layer of the Abyss mentioned in the H4 module from the 1st edition, and so it has had a slight number change. Of course, Kiaransalee is still the undead drow goddess to blame as she dispatched the former Abyssal lord of the undead, casting him into the Astral Plane, and taken over his lands of Thanatos.
It’s not until The Great Modron March (1997) that Orcus begins his epic comeback, but that is all hushed up in the background, with even the DM being left partially in the dark until the next adventure is released. In Dead Gods (1997), we get the entire story of his death and resurrection, and it is a lengthy saga of revenge and trickery.
Orcus was for sure killed by Kiaransalee, who proceeds to take over Thanatos, kill his followers, and hides the Wand of Orcus in a place where she thinks it will never be found, the bottom layer of Pandemonium in a bunch of unreachable stone. Orcus doesn’t remain dead and comes back as an undead godling, taking up the name Tenebrous. Tenebrous plots and schemes to take back Thanatos, but must first begin plotting as he is now incredibly weakened by his brush with death. Eventually, he discovers the Last Word, a declaration that has the power to destroy gods who hear it. The one final item Orcus needed to complete his comeback was his wand. In the process of hunting for the wand, he kills the supreme modron, Primus, and unbeknownst to the other modrons, takes up his position as ruler. He then forces the events that lead up to an early modron march detailed in The Great Modron March adventure anthology, and during this march, the modrons discover the two drow who hid Orcus’ wand. The character’s role in this adventure is simple, find and destroy the wand before Tenebrous catches up to you and kills you. Seriously, Orcus isn’t given a stat block, the DM is just told that if Orcus finds the party before they destroy the wand, he kills them, end the adventure there, there is no fighting Orcus even when he is so weak that a demi-god is stronger than him, that even weakened, he can kill any mortal that would face him.

3e/3.5e

Orcus first appears in the 3rd edition of the Manual of the Planes (2001), and the return of Orcus, or should we say Tenebrous, is expanded upon a little further. When under the moniker Tenebrous, Orcus killed rival gods using the all-powerful Last Word. Orcus found and restored his wand, which allowed the demon to begin a resurrection spell with the help of a faithful servant, the half-ogre Quah-Namog. As adventurers do, they found out about the ritual, swooped in at the last second, and stopped the ritual from being completed. While Orcus did not return at full strength, the ritual was enough to bring him back to life. Besides, the drow deity that originally evicted Orcus from Thanatos is now missing, with many presuming she is dead. Some believe Orcus has now returned to Thanatos and rules it yet again, though very few people are willing to travel the Abyss to find out, and far fewer would ever return from such a trip.
In the text Book of Vile Darkness (2002), Orcus continues his glorious return and the book confirms that he has retaken Thanatos and rules in the city of Naratyr. Of course, there is no rest for the Lord of Darkness and he is immediately back at war against Demogorgon and Graz’zt, attempting to take over their realms and destroy them with his massive army of undead and demons.
While some may know him as the Prince of the Undead, Orcus hates the title, mostly because he hates the undead and sees them only as tools. It probably doesn’t help that many view him as undead-adjacent and he doesn’t like to remember how that one time he got so lazy that someone was actually able to kill him. Intelligent undead, like liches or vampires, won’t worship or venerate Orcus due to his hatred, but that doesn’t bother him in the least. Compared to the other demon lords, Orcus gets the most worship out of all of them, normally from cultists also looking to use undead for their ends and to get some of his power for themselves.
Sometimes, Orcus will relinquish his wand, referred to as a rod, to the world, allowing his cultists to wreak havoc across the world. After a year or two of this, the wand probably switching hands several times, Orcus will call back his wand, and probably the soul of whoever was holding it last so that he has something to play with back in the Abyss. Of course, if you do get this wand, it is quite powerful so we can understand why some people might look at it and think that that was their key to ultimate power and not a way to get Orcus interested in your soul.
The wand of Orcus acts as a powerful mace when wielded in battle, when it touches mortals or weak creatures from the Outer Planes, then it has the chance to immediately kill them. Even the wielder of the wand is in danger as Orcus can just decide that anyone touching his wand right now should die, their soul ripped away and handed to the demon prince who hates to share his toys. Also, the wand can be used to cast a few spells all focused on pain and death, like abyssal might, clutch of Orcus, and other strange spells.
Orcus has legions of followers, priests, and cultists that worship it. Two of the most powerful are the priest Quah-Nomag the Skull King and Orcus’s primary enforcer, the vampire Kauvra. You may recognize Quah-Nomag as the individual that resurrected Orcus, and we aren’t sure whether to thank him or curse his name. Now, if you are captivated by the power of Orcus, you can become a worshipper and gain access to the prestige class Thrall of Orcus. The Demon Lord grants these followers special powers like carrion stench, demon wings, death touch, and the ability to summon greater undead. Is it worth giving up your mortality to Orcus? Probably not, but you’ll never know until you try.
Orcus gets a little bit more information in Libris Mortis: The Book of the Undead (2004), and some of it is even a bit surprising. Orcus gets a lot of worship, especially from demons and necromancers, sometimes even undead that he hasn’t yet subjugated, and is thought to be far closer to ascending to true godhood than any other demon. While Orcus isn’t the most powerful of the demon princes, with Demogorgon thought to be more powerful, that hasn’t stopped Orcus from amassing followers and we’d be shocked if Orcus didn’t send passive-aggressive notes to Demogorgon talking about how he feels so divine and god-like, or maybe Orcus isn’t as petty as us.
In addition, we also find out that while Orcus hates the undead, he also despises the living equally. He views most creatures with revulsion and loathing, only seeking to spread misery and destruction to others all to ensure his increase in power. Despite his utter disgust at creatures, he still pulls in that worship and has temples that span the multiverse. Strongholds of the undead, warring nobles, and even entire tribes of orcs pledge their allegiance to him, which probably means we just need to get to know Orcus, that he isn’t that bad when you get to know him.
Our final book, Fiendish Codex I: Hordes of the Abyss (2006) updates Orcus to 3.5 edition, though much of the demon lord’s abilities remain the same. Orcus’ constant battles against Demogorgon and Graz’zt are given a bit more detail, only detailing the fury that Orcus feels for them. While his primary enemy is Demogorgon, who we are constantly reminded is a bit more powerful than the Prince of the Undead, Orcus really covets the vast empire that Graz’zt controls. This leads Orcus to drive his undead forces deep into the dark prince’s realm while using more subtle means of subterfuge and assassination when battling Demogorgon. Orcus may seem like the least powerful of the three, but his vast empire of loyal followers on the Material Plane dwarfs that of the other two. He uses them to help grow his power and influence, supplying him with a constant supply of undead creatures and sacrifices.
We are also provided with a detailed description of Orcus’ realm, Thanatos. It’s not a vacation spot, as the sun never appears, and the land is covered in gray clouds in a black sky. It is cold and desolate, with moss and fungi as the only plant life. Countless undead minions occupy the plane, traveling in packs on their eternal quest for flesh. You can travel to such wonderful places as the City of Straight Curves, Everlost, The Final Hills, The Frozen Sea, Orcusgate, and many others, but none of these places are bright and shiny places. Of all these places, it is the sprawling city of Orcusgate that attracts the most creatures. Demons comprise most of the population, as they are drawn there by the gate of fire connecting Thanatos to the Pits of Pazunia on the first layer of the Abyss. They are the top demons of Orcus’ cult, holding sway over access to the gate and using it themselves to travel throughout the Abyss to do Orcus’ bidding. Mortals often arrive here but quickly depart for Lash Embrar, a city ruled over by the Skull King Quah-Nomag which is quite far from Orcusgate since Orcus is tired of how self-important Quah-Nomag is getting, it is also much more hospitable to living creatures. All of this, along with the fact that the official name used on the travel brochure is Thanatos, the Belly of Death, makes it a place you don’t want to go unless you truly have to.

4e

Found first in the Monster Manual (2008), Orcus rises in prominence and even graces the cover of the book. You don’t get that privilege if you aren’t the mightiest of the demon lords, and in fact, Demogorgon had to wait until the next Monster Manual. This fat-bellied goat demon gets a cool new title, The Blood Lord, along with the Demon Lord of Undeath and the Demon Prince of the Undead. It’s a strange combination of titles, but we’ll try to explain if we can. If you’re alive, you enrage the Blood Lord because of your very existence and it brings Orcus nothing but suffering and agony for you to be alive. If you are undead, this also causes Orcus a great amount of agony and can only be pacified when he destroys and drinks the blood of his victims. He’s a complicated demon lord, but that’s why you just have to love him.
Looking at his powerful wand, the skull that graces the top of it is now pulled into question. There are two stories behind the possible victim whose skull adorns the top of the obsidian shaft, the first being that the skull belongs to a dead god of virtue and chivalry. The god didn’t die of natural causes, but by the hand of Orcus, who probably lopped off its head, flayed the skin from it, and set it atop the wand. The second story is that the skull is that of a mere human hero, but that must have been one big-headed human since the skull is giant size. No matter the truth, The Blood Lord took the good power from the skull and twisted it into an evil that can kill any creature it touches.
In addition to the information on Orcus, we also get to look at his minions and servants. The Aspect of Orcus allows Orcus to summon a minor version of himself and to send to his followers to help in their endeavors. As for servants, Orcus has several mortal followers that are willing to serve him like the Deathpriest Hierophant, Deathpriest of Orcus, and Crimson Acolyte. The Hierophant is the most powerful of all Orcus’ priests, who can project a vision of death into the mind of its target and invoke the name of Orcus to hurt you while healing any undead around. Deathpriests have mastery over necrotic energies, while the Acolytes wield bloodstained scythes and aspire to the ranks of the Deathpriests. All these servants are members of the various cults of Orcus on the Material Plane, congregating in graveyards, tombs, and other scary and haunted areas. There are several cults, each with their own symbols and icons, although robes of black and crimson are one thing they all have in common. That, and the blood sacrifices they perform in the name of their lord, Orcus.
If you’ve ever wanted to visit Orcus, for some reason, and wish to journey to Thanatos, the Manual of the Planes (2008) provides plenty of information on what you can expect. Ash-gray clouds, blackened skies, hordes of undead thralls, and lots of demons are hallmarks of these lands and little changes from what is revealed in the previous edition. Though Orcus has abandoned his Orcusgate city for a more remote location called Oblivion’s End where his fortress, Everlost, towers over a large desert of powdered bones. This land is rather inhospitable, much to our surprise, and unless you are hoping to curry Orcus’ favor, there isn’t much here beyond Orcus and his elite soldiers.
Orcus’ obsession with the destruction of Demogorgon and Graz’zt is reduced to a dull simmer as Orcus has now set his sights on bigger targets, like the destruction of the Raven Queen and her control over death. This hatred comes to the forefront in almost all of the adventures in this edition. The adventure series is broken into 9 modules starting with characters at level 1 and eventually culminating to 30th level, all the while the party is facing off against the forces of evil, which often, but not always, involves the cult of Orcus who are trying to help him ascend to godhood and kill the Raven Queen. This series involves the heroes jumping across the multiverse, journeying into the Abyss, the Shadowfell and the Feywild, fighting dragons, undead, and more. The main focus of the later adventure, in the E series modules which contain E1 - Death’s Reach (2009), E2 - Kingdom of the Ghouls (2009), and E3 - Prince of Undeath (2009), has the party attempting to foil Orcus’ plans. They must first break the siege against Letherna, where the Raven Queen resides, fighting against Orcus’ elite demons. Eventually, they attract the wrath of Orcus and must deal with his powerful exarch, Doresain the Ghoul King. After that, they continue messing with Orcus’ plans before they finally stop him from destroying the Raven Queen and stealing her godhood.
In The Shadowfell - Gloomwrought & Beyond (2008), Orcus’ relationship with the Raven Queen is further defined and it is revealed that Orcus is constantly trying to send spies and secret cultists to the Raven Queen’s realm to undermine her. Orcus controls huge swaths of the Shadowfell, and the shadar-kai are a constant enemy as they are loyal to the Raven Queen and see anyone who worships the demon prince as only worthy of death. To help his plans move forward, Orcus offers large rewards to any who can kill the shadar-kai and raven knights, and even greater rewards to those who bring them back alive so that Orcus can torture them.

5e

Orcus is first mentioned in the Monster Manual (2014), but no stat block is provided and we only get a few paragraphs, much like all the other demon lords. Described as the Blood Lord and the Demon Prince of Undeath, his hatred of undead creatures seems to have lessened considerably as only living creatures not bound or controlled by him are anathema to his existence. It’s nice that he has finally gotten over hating everything, and now just hates most things. Sadly, little else is revealed about him beyond ghouls and wights seem to like him.
The next drip of information comes in the Dungeon Master’s Guide (2014) which shows off his home in the Abyss, Thanatos. Still described as a horrible place, much of what is written is from 4th edition and is covered in tombs, mausoleums, and more across its landscapes, and that Orcus’ lair is still in Everlost in the wasteland known as Oblivion’s End. This book also contains the Wand of Orcus, a powerful artifact that has a magically enlarged skull, cause we guess there were no giant skulls available when Orcus was working on his art project, and it is actually rather lame. Sure you can cast a bunch of spells from it, like blight or finger of death, but its power has been shrunken considerably. It can no longer kill with a single touch, though if you pick it up and attune to it, it has the potential to kill you outright. You can summon undead with it, and for the first time, it has sentience and wishes to help Orcus’ goals, though it only acts like it likes the wielder, feigning devotion to whoever wields it. There is also some information on the skull Orcus uses on top of the wand, that it is the skull of an ancient hero and that his soul has been imprisoned by Orcus somewhere.
Orcus finally makes his true appearance in the Out of the Abyss (2015) adventure, but as a minor character only, and is immediately killed in a cut scene by Demogorgon. His only purpose in this adventure is to fight Demogorgon at the end, wounding it so that the adventurers have an easier time to kill the demon lord, and is crushed beneath the tentacles of Prince of Demons. It’s a horrific tragedy for Orcus, but at least he gets a stat block at the back of the book that is quite respectable for such a powerful and well-known being. While there is some lore written in there about him, much of it is similar to what we already found out but we do learn that he actually makes his lair in the fortress city of Naratyr, found on Thanatos, and it is surrounded by a moat fed by the River Styx. Seems like, in 1 year, Orcus decided to move from Everlost and Oblivion’s End and head back to his old stomping grounds of Naratyr, this time with a large moat.
In Mordenkainen’s Tome of Foes (2018), Orcus finally gets a bit more juicy information, and we can finally start getting his perspective on stuff. We learn that Orcus isn’t hell-bent on the destruction of the world because he hates everything in life, but because he hates all life. To him, life is noisy and messy, that it scratches at his finer sensibilities like a rat scratching through his mind. He just wants the quiet that accompanies death, and we think deep down inside each of us, we can understand that. Aren’t we all just looking for some peace and quiet?
We also get a bit more information on his cultists and those who understand what it is like to live in a cruel, living world. Orcus is revered by individuals who see the gods as the problem, that they can take away the life from loved ones and do nothing to stop death. Orcus is an attractive option, one that can offer them a respite from dealing with the pain of death through undeath. He offers to bring back those who die to undeath, and while it might be a mockery of life, it is far better than the gods who do nothing but sit there and force people to pay hundreds of gold to return the dead to life.
Those who are especially vulnerable include grieving parents, siblings, and others who have recently suffered a great loss. Those who spread his name are rewarded and are granted portions of his power. Those who just spread his name are rewarded with being transformed into ghouls or zombies who serve in his legions, while his favored servants are the cultists and necromancers who murder the living and then manipulate the dead, emulating their dread master. While it might seem a bit greedy that the Blood Lord already has countless ghouls and skeletons under his command, that the only reward he offers is to be turned into more of his mindless legions, for some, undeath is just the peace and quiet they were always looking for.
Orcus might have been misunderstood since the beginning. He is a powerful demon prince of undeath, but not only because he hates all living creatures. It’s because they are noisy and unclean, that their lives cause him physical pain. He only hopes to turn all life into undeath so that he can finally live in a multiverse of peace. The destruction of suns and stars, the destruction of light in the darkness, all these things will eventually end, and then, and only then, will Orcus finally have the rest he so rightfully deserves.

Past Deep Dives

Creatures: Aboleth / Beholder / Chimera / Couatl / Displacer Beast / Djinni / Dragon Turtle / Dryad / Flumph / Frost Giant / Gelatinous Cube / Ghoul / Giff / Gnoll / Grell / Hobgoblin / Kobold / Kraken / Kuo-Toa / Lich / Lizardfolk / Mimic / Mind Flayer / Nothic / Owlbear / Rakshasa / Rust Monster / Sahuagin / Scarecrow / Shadar-Kai / Umber Hulk / Vampire / Werewolf / Xorn

Class: Barbarian Class / Cleric Class / Wizard Class

Spells: Fireball Spell / Lost Spells / Named Spells / Quest Spells / Wish Spell

Other: The History of Bigby / The History of the Blood War / The History of the Raven Queen / The History of Vecna

I run a private campground. Over a year ago I started telling you all about my little patch of field and forest and the creatures that live on it - and how to survive them. I did not spare the details, which led to a fair number of you going, wow Kate, you’re kind of a monster yourself. I justified it by telling myself that when you’re dealing with flesh-eating horses and other monstrosities, you have to be a bit ruthless.
Then a year ago, Perchta showed up and gave me a warning that made me reconsider my position. I keep the bloody piece of thread on my dresser as a reminder.
If you’re new here, you should really start at the beginning and if you’re totally lost, this might help.
While today is not her feast day, Beau warned me that the seamstress of slaughter was drawing close. He felt her presence. Like a storm on the horizon. I suppose it makes sense that she can show up whenever she feels like it. I don’t follow her tenets. I don’t weave. My family ancestry is a muddled mess and we don’t keep the traditions of any one culture. Perchta has no traditional claim on me. Her appearance last year was a special interest she showed for… reasons, I guess.
Perhaps she makes exceptions for people she particularly takes issue with. I suppose it’s pointless to wonder why I’ve been singled out when I’m sure there’s much worse people to go after, like insurance company executives. (if you’re reading this and have the chance to maybe book an executive retreat for said insurance companies, I’ll offer a substantial discount for use of my campground, just saying)
But these creatures do what they will. Perhaps I merited special attention because my land was in the early throes of turning ancient and the decision of who it will go to is of great importance to more than just people that like to go camping.
I waited for Perchta’s arrival in my living room. My tarot deck was sitting out on the coffee table for no other reason than it felt appropriate. I wasn’t trying to do any readings. It hadn’t been very effective last year. I feel it was trying to tell me something, but my mind is so preoccupied with the here and now that I don’t have space in my brain for these nebulous ‘what-ifs?’
But honestly, at that moment, my mind was mostly occupied with dread. I can’t undo the past. People died on my land this past year and that cannot be changed. My theory that Perchta was asking for a specific outcome at some point in the future rather than a general “don’t let people die” could very well have been nothing but wishful thinking. There was no avoiding my fate. I could only wait to find out if Perchta took offense at my actions or not.
I think I dozed off a bit on the sofa, for I next remember being startled awake by the front door banging open. It brought with it a hefty gust of cold air that sank its teeth into my ears and fingers. I fear January is going to be brutal if the temperature continues to fall like this.
Framed in the doorway stood Perchta. She was dressed in a radiant, white gossamer dress with no sleeves. It billowed at her feet like drifts of snow. In one hand she held a needle, already threaded.
I eyed it nervously. Granted, it wasn’t a plough and chain that she used on particularly wicked individuals, but disemboweling is disemboweling, regardless of how you’re sewn back up.
“I, uh, made tea,” I offered.
She stepped inside, her expression composed and her steps deliberate. Making a point. She did not have to be invited inside. She was an ancient thing and could go as she willed.
“That would be lovely,” she hissed.
So I went to the kitchen where there was already a carafe from earlier in the evening and when I came back with two mugs she was seated on my sofa and was sewing up a rip in one of my jackets. I don’t remember quite what caused the tear, it was either while clearing out dead branches or fleeing from the fomorian. You know. Just campground things. I set the tea down in front of her and perched on the edge of a chair, too nervous to actually settle down.
“You act like you’re ready to flee at any moment,” Perchta commented, not taking her eyes off her work.
“I am,” I laughed nervously. “Did you come to just mend my jacket or is that thread also meant for me?”
“You tell me.”
“I’m trying. I really am.”
“You don’t sound convinced.”
Her eyes flickered up from her work to regard me. I took a deep breath and tried to summon any conviction I had in my heart. Wasn’t I doing better? Wasn’t I trying to not take the easy way out, no matter how seductively it whispered to me?
“Because I’m frightened,” I said, my sudden honesty surprising even me. “I don’t want to die - and yet - that’s the only way I read this situation. You said I could save everyone and with the land turning ancient… I think that means I need to let some benevolent creature take my life and entrust the land to its protection.”
Perchta said nothing. She only continued to sew and I waited until she was done. She knotted the thread with a few deft motions of the needle and broke the strands with her teeth. Then she set the jacket aside and granted me her full attention. Still, she did not speak. The question of my character was for me alone to answer.
“I want to do what you told me,” I said desperately. “Why do I have to die though?”
“You should know the power in sacrifice. It’s only right, isn’t it? After all these generations of sacrificing others to this land, now the debt falls to you.”
“We didn’t sacrifice people.”
“Didn’t you?”
She leaned forwards and slipped a card out of the tarot deck that sat on the table. Justice. She held it up for me to see, a silent condemnation of my family’s blood history. Me and my damn rules. Perhaps they saved some, but they also served to absolve me of responsibility. What’s fair is fair, after all. They were warned.
I suppose that didn’t make it right.
“Am I… at least on the right track?”
“This would not be a civil conversation if you were not.”
I laughed, a brief bout of hysteria induced by how close I’d been sitting to a gorey demise and the relief of release. She wasn’t here to kill me. I didn’t have to save everyone starting with the instant she stabbed her needle through my flesh. At some point in the future, I had to make the right choice, and in the meantime keep the land from falling into the wrong hands. It all sounds so simple, doesn’t it?
Still. My conversation with Perchta wasn’t over. There was something I needed from her.
“You wouldn’t have come here just to inform me I get a reprieve,” I said. “You’d have just… not shown at all.”
“And you wouldn’t have invited me for tea if you weren’t preparing to ask something of me.”
I’m not sure what it says about me that the person that truly seems to get me and my nervous habits is someone who runs around replacing people’s entrails with straw and rocks.
I stood and went to the guest bedroom, which used to be my room when I was a child. I returned with a couple bags of children’s shoes and toys. Gifts from the gofundme. Y'all are so clever.
“These are gifts for your children,” I said, setting them at her feet. She merely regarded me placidly, her hands crossed over her needle and thread.
“I have none with me.”
“There are some on this campground in want of a mother.”
If this past year has taught me anything, it’s that the best way to get rid of something inhuman is to sic an even bigger and nastier inhuman thing on it. Perchta was silent and still for a moment, then she demurely closed her eyes and gestured, beckoning me to come closer. I complied, my heart beating rapidly in my chest. She took my right hand with her left and then held her needle up between us. Then she made a stitch. A careful incision on the tip of my finger, where the skin is calloused and she could run the needle through without drawing blood. It was a strange and unpleasant sensation, having thread drawn through the tip of my finger like that, but it didn’t hurt. She put another stitch in my next finger, and so on and so on, until white thread ran loosely between each fingertip of my hand. Then she took the left and did the same, all with the same long, continuous piece of thread. She hummed as she worked and did not open her eyes until it was done. Then she bid me to break the thread myself with my teeth. I stared at my hands and the threads connecting finger to finger, hand to hand.
“There,” she said. “All done. Now go bring me my children.”
I began to walk to the garage, but Perchta stopped me by speaking.
“You can use the front door,” she said slyly. “The little girl will respect you as my envoy tonight.”
An envoy of Perchta. Certainly something that not just anyone can put on their resume.
The little girl was standing in the yard, watching, as I left through the front door. She wasn’t crying. Her eyes were wide and she watched in silence as I walked to the gate. On impulse, I turned to her.
“I’m not… making a mistake, am I?” I asked.
I didn’t expect a response. It’s just this year has been so messed up and weird that I didn’t want to rule it out, either. The little girl stared back at me for a moment and then slowly - very slowly - shook her head no. I was not making a mistake.
Beau told me that the way to avoid the children was to stay off the roads. That meant the way to find them was to stay on the roads. I nervously walked along, wishing I’d thought to grab more than just my jacket. A hat or scarf, maybe. I certainly couldn’t wear gloves and I didn’t want to shove my hands in my pockets lest I break the threads. My fingers began to ache and I was only mostly certain it was from the cold. I wasn’t sure what the threads were for or what I was supposed to do with them. I could only hope that, like most of these inhuman things, it would become apparent at the point it was needed.
I’d just entered the deep woods when I saw a figure standing on the road up ahead. I could not see them clearly because a night mist was encroaching on the campground, rolling in and pouring into the low parts of the land. It hovered silver over the snow. I approached warily, gauging the size of the person before me. Small. A child. I took a deep breath and regretted it, for the cold chewed at my lungs.
The child was alone. She was small and dirty, standing barefoot in the packed snow on the dirt road. I looked around, trying to make sure her peers weren’t lurking in ambush nearby. There were no footprints to betray them. For that matter, she didn’t leave any footprints either.
“You’re looking for us,” the child said to me.
Her voice seemed wrong. It was too solemn for a child.
“I’ve found a mother for you,” I replied, stopping just a few feet away.
“My mother wasn’t here when I needed her.”
“This one is different. I promise.”
I held out my hand, the threads glowing like the moonlight. The child looked askance at them, considering. Then, slowly, tentatively, she put her hand in mine. Something flashed through my field of vision. A child. A mother. A frozen lake.
“You drowned,” I gasped, when the visions cleared. My chest ached, as if I’d been the one thrashing in the darkness and the cold, alone and afraid.
“I cried for my mother,” she whispered, “and she never came. The water filled my lungs instead.”
I told her it was okay. I’d take her to her new mother and this one would always be there. I squeezed her hand tight.
One of the threads loosened from my finger. It wrapped around her wrist. And on we walked, through the woods as the mist steadily grew thicker.
The next child was a boy. He died as a teenager. I saw how his mother wasn’t ever really there for him, not even as she sat at his hospital bedside as he died after the car crash. I was a little puzzled by this, for he wasn’t a child necessarily, and as the thread looped it around his wrist he appeared to me as he did in the moment he died, a teenager with a broken face and blood-stained eyes. But he came with me. As did the next. And the next. And finally, at the last, I understood.
A girl. I saw her life, I saw her bury her mother at a younger age than I buried mine. I saw her with children of her own and I saw them grow up and leave. Then I saw her die, quietly in her sleep. She never woke, only stirred slightly to call out, her lips barely moving, and then she was gone.
I was so certain that these were the souls of unbaptized children. But my theories are only theories. Sometimes I’m wrong.
Perhaps at one point dying before baptism is all that could give rise to these lost children, but the world has changed. We’ve changed. And our collective fears and hopes and needs have shifted, moving from the fear of an early death or starvation to the more nebulous fears of loneliness and emptiness.
As I watched the old woman, crying out softly in her sleep, I finally understood what the children were.
The souls of those that died alone, wanting for a mother, and being denied that gentle comfort of a hand to hold in their last moments.
I took her hand and promised to take her to someone that would make sure she was never alone again. She gazed up at me with hopeful eyes as a thread wrapped itself around her wrist.
The task was done. I’d collected all the children and I still had a few strands to spare. Satisfied, I turned to return to the house where Perchta waited for us. It was then that I realized I could no longer see the road. In fact, I couldn’t see anything of the campground at all. For a moment I panicked, thinking perhaps I was in the gray world, but there were no trees and no sky, leeched of color. Just the mist.
Sometimes, roads will lead you somewhere other than where you intended to go.
There was movement in the fog. I squinted, trying to discern shapes out of the shifting haze. With a start, I realized what it was. Children. Rows and rows of children, all pulling at each other, struggling to get ahead in the surging press of bodies. Their eyes were wide with desperation, a hopeless yearning not out of hunger or malice, but a simple primal need to not be left behind. To not be left alone in this in-between world. There were so many. The tide of bodies vanished into the mist but I knew they were there, an endless mass of lost souls that all cried out for the same thing. They stretched out fingers in my direction as they pleaded.
Mother. I want my mother.
And I only had two strings left.
“We’re going to play a game, children,” I said frantically to the ones I’d already bound. “It’s called ‘run like hell from the undead horde.’”
I ran. And it was like the children - and adults - yoked to me were nothing more than wisps of wind. They trailed behind me, almost formless, bound only to this reality by the threads around their wrists. I dragged them along in my wake, binding them to my humanity, and carried them out of this half-realm of the lonesome dead.
There was a light up ahead. The light of my front porch. The only beacon I had. I ran for it as the horde closed in around me, hands reaching out of the mist to snatch at my jacket. They screamed at me to take them with me. To not leave them alone. But most of all, they cried out for their mothers.
“I’m sorry!” I cried out. “There’s too many of you!”
I stretched out my hand for the light of my front porch. Cold hands closed on my legs, seizing the hem of my jeans. The dead sobbed, trying to drag me back in their desperate loneliness. So unwilling to be left alone in their moment of need once again that they were willing to consign another to the same fate. I felt my fingers touch a doorknob and then I was falling forwards, tumbling into the warmth and light of my entryway.
Panting, I whirled around. The children were gone. The mist was gone. There was only my front yard and the little girl, watching, just as she’d been when I’d left. I slowly closed the door, staring at the threads still attached to my fingers.
“Did I… fail?” I asked, not turning around, fearing the answer. “Did I not run fast enough?”
The children I’d had with me were nowhere to be seen.
“No. Come here.”
She snipped the threads from my fingers, one by one, and tucked them away into some invisible pocket. As she worked, I noticed that the toys and shoes were gone. I also noticed that her shears were stained with layers of blood, but I tried not to focus on that too much.
“Thank you for collecting them for me,” she said. “If more find your way to the campground, I’ll come for them as well.”
“There were… countless souls. Are they all trapped there until someone claims them?”
She tilted her head at me as if I’d asked a strange question.
“Not all are trapped,” she said. “Nor are all of them souls. Some are… echoes. You shouldn’t bother with such things. It is beyond your domain.”
Life advice from Perchta. Don’t worry about the dead, for there’s nothing we can do for them. It’s cold comfort. I half-listened as Perchta told me that she’d take the children with her and she’d set them loose on the night of her wild hunt. I wondered if the children would ride a wagon, in amongst the hordes of her followers, screeching as they raced through the night and chased down anything unfortunate enough to be caught in their path. Then she said something that brought my full attention back to her.
“You belong with my hunt,” Perchta said thoughtfully. “Granted, you’re currently alive, but your death is written in your family’s blood. What’s a handful of years matter? One? Ten? Come with me, Kate, and I’ll give you the mother you still yearn for.”
I looked up at her. Her appearance had changed. She wore boots. Her gossamer dress was gone, replaced by practical jeans and a flannel plaid shirt I knew too well. I knew what it smelled like.
It was my mother’s favorite.
And Perchta wore my mother’s face. Her hair. The steely look in her eyes, glinting like fire.
“You cry out for you, do you not?” she continued. “I hear it in your heart.”
“Everyone dies,” I said through clenched teeth. I stepped backwards towards the door. “I will learn to live with this.”
“You don’t have to.”
She reached out for me with my mother’s hand.
I watched her die, all those years ago. In my dream, far away in my bed in my college apartment. It was a true dream. The little girl sat on her bed, her hands stained with my mother’s blood, and her abdomen was split open and the organs inside strewn about and packed back in carelessly, like a child assembling bricks.
Now Perchta stood here, hand outstretched, coming to claim me as one of her own lost children. To run in her wild hunt, to be lost forever to this world and belong to the other.
I think… I went a little mad at that point. I ran. Straight out the front door, heedless of the little girl or my own safety. I stumbled down the front steps and the little girl hurried forwards, but it wasn’t for me. She stepped behind me, standing between me and Perchta, and I didn’t dare stop and watch. I could barely see, anyway, for the tears in my eyes. I burst through the gate and out to the road and I ran to the only place I could think of.
I ran to the graveyard. I collapsed in front of my mother’s grave. And I screamed my grief to the cold earth, weeping for a mother that was gone and could not be replaced.
I was there for a long time. Finally, a voice made me come back to myself. The little girl. I didn’t turn around. She wasn’t close by. She’d never crossed into the graveyard before, to my knowledge.
“She’s gone,” the little girl said. “I don’t think she’ll be back until next year.”
“She didn’t try to take you?” I sniffled.
“I have no mother, for I was never born.”
She’s not a ghost. She was never a human to begin with. She’s something fully inhuman, created specifically as my family’s curse. For a moment, I was stunned at this revelation, and my mind whirled with all the questions it created. How does such a thing happen? What is my family’s relationship with this land?
I asked where she came from, then, if not a mother. The little girl didn’t answer. I twisted where I knelt and turned around to look.
Above me loomed the beast and in its jaws was the little girl’s body, slack and silent. Its teeth were like spikes carved from obsidian, its multitude of eyes shone like stars, and it consumed the sky above me so that all I could see was its hide, carved from the waning night itself. I could feel the heat of its throat and the weight of its breath upon me.
My death, staring down upon me, mere feet away.
It was like the world spun. I felt like a feather, buffeted by a storm, my body weightless, and then knew nothing more.
I awoke to find myself alone in the graveyard. The sun was over the horizon. And embarrassingly, my jeans were wet. If I have to surmise what happened… I pissed myself and fainted.
So… yeah. That’s a thing that happened.
Look - I’m a campground manager. I’ve dealt with a lot of shit over the years but I fear the beast like I fear no other. At least it was sated by the little girl. At least I’m still here.
This world is a cruel place. It takes our fears and turns them against us. These things that we dread, that we try not to think about but haunt us nonetheless, in the silent spaces of our mind, are plucked clear and given form and life. They are turned into weapons, into monsters, and into curses. This world shackles us with the things we seek to flee.
I have no comfort to give you. How can I tell you to come to terms with your loneliness, with your loss, when I can’t do so myself?
Perchta was right. I miss my mother. I miss both my parents. I want them back more than anything. And I fear death because I know it will be by the hand of some inhuman thing and by that nature, I will be alone when I die. [x]
Read the full list of rules.
Visit the campground's website.